Posted 3/15/2008 12:23 AM (GMT -6)
Lately I've been really depressed.
some has to do with something that has gone on a month ago. I found out that my b/f was going to cheat on me with an old g/f. I still have feelings that they are talking but no proof.
Some has to do with 5 years ago. I was raising my grandson for 4 years. He was a month old when I started raising him. His name was Brandon Lee. He was the light of my life. I had recently lost a child that my now ex husband and I were going to call Brandon Lee and being that my daughter and I didn't talk at the time she had no idea when she named her son that.
Well any ways my husband and I agreed to take care of him since my daughter was only 19 and not ready for parent hood nor was the father. I sat with this child every night until he feel asleep and I loved him. I taught him how to talk, how to walk and all the things moms teach there children.
When my husband and I seperated, granted it took me three years to do so after I caught him and my 16 year old daughter kissing. My daughter looked at me and told me she could have any guy and that included mine. There is a 10 years difference between he 2.
After him and I went our seprete ways he got with my oldest daughter. The mother of my grandson Brandon. Because of them being together I ended up at the mental hospital for 3 days. While I was there he kept telling me he loved me. Then he talked to me on the phone with my theripist and said he couldn't trust me and that he wanted to stay with my daughter.
After I got out him and my daughter decided to try to take Brandon from me. My other 2 children where doing their own thing and to me he was all I had. Because of my daughter making up lies on my mom and adopted brothers we lost Brandon to the state and I can't see him nor do I get to know how he is.
I watch children in my home, and I get attached to them, well a couple of them have left recently and Brandon's birthday is coming up he'll be 9 and I miss him so bad.
People that I tak to tell me he is my grandson. And I agree. But they don't understand I'm the one when he had asma Sp so bad that I stayed up 3 nights with him and held him, his mom my daughter was there she slept while I didn't.
My ex husband and my oldest daughter are married now and have a son of their own. And she sometimes will act like it bothers her but it always bothers me.
Sorry this is so long but had to get some of this out. My dr upped my drug today to a whole pill instead of half. She just knows I'm depressed she doesn't know why.
DX Fibro 12/31/07 Guess I can put the rest dx
PSTD Bi Polar 2/04 Depression most of my life IBS
RX Amitriptylin 25mg
God gives doesn't give us more than we can handle. So this too shall pass.