You are not crazy. I think many of us on this site have felt that way at some point in their life or are at the present time.
I have no idea of your background but it sounds to be like there is more an underlying fear of abandonment. You worry that you will not be able to talk with anyone like you have with him. You feel your whole world is crashing down all around you. That you may be loosing the one person who perhaps understood you more than anyone.
This felt really good to you. You live the isolated life, maybe afraid to get close to anyone, in fear that someone will learn your little secret "whatever secret that may be", so you keep your distance, never really forming any emotional attachment, but you long for it.... oh... do you long for it more than anything.
Maybe its time to work on letting the secret out, its not easy but its the only thing that is going to help you heal. There are genuine people in the world waiting to connect but often we ourselves are the ones who avoid it, in fear of hurt, and we have much reason too fear. However, we tend to generalize all people, and the reality is, its not all people. Though there are some terrible people out there.
The online thing made it so much easier to open up, to share in a way that you could never do in person.
I am wondering, have you ever been to a counselor? If not I would personally challege you to take that huge leap and just try it, go at your own pace. Your life has meaning, its time to open up, just as you started to do by posting on this site.
Talk all you want, share your hurts, fears, whatever it is that haunts you. We are here to listen. We don't have all the answers but many of us have been there to some degree.
Thanks for sharing some of who you are:)