I'm back again and the time that I took off of this site to "clear my mind" actually seemed to make it worse. A week ago, everything in my life seemed to be falling apart. My mom was yelling at me for loosing all sorts of things. Since then, I can't seem to fall asleep. I haven't slept in a week and if I did, I don't ever remember going to sleep. It's been taking its toll on me. I've been forgetting things left and right. I made an appointment wuith one of my teachers to make up a test, and somehow, it slipped my mind. Th enext day, she laid this whole guilt trip thing on me. I know she means well. I made another appt. with her and I forgot that one too. She's about
had it with me, but she doesn't seem to understand, and even I don't even understand why I keep forgetting things. Shes not one of those teachers who will listen to you talk and actually care.
Eventhough I haven't slept for a while, I somehow can't seem to get my homework done either! I have all the time in the world to do it, and yet it either slips my mind, or i thought I already did it! Everything seems to be spiraling out of control and now I'm afraid to go back to school and face my teachers again only to have them badger me about things, that I just can't seem to get my butt moving on. I want to tell them so badly that i'm depressed, but I know that it probably wouldn't make a difference. I mean, why would it? I can't get anything together.
I really have no motivation to start on the homework that was due a while ago. I wish I could just forget about those assignments and just keep moving. I just don't want to go to school right now. I know that I have to continue my education, but right now, i fear that if i go to school, I'll feel even worse than I do now, and I'll go spiraling back down that deep hole that I've worked hard to crawl up in the last year. My emotions feel so fragile and if another thing just nudges it, i don't think I'll beable to recover.
~"When one door of happiness closes, another
opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been
opened for us." ~Helen Keller