I am home alone--bf away til tomorrow--and depression has been looming over me for the last few days. I am really struggling right now. It was a huge crash from where I was at the first part of the week.
As I said, I'm really having a hard time right now, so I'm just going to write how I'm feeling to ppl who understand, and see if that brings me any relief, even if temporary.
The depression I'm feeling now is pretty bad. I can't even bring myself to go for a walk or do anything really. I'm trying. I did take the dog out earlier, but the whole time I just wanted to come back in the house and lie down. I had a shower, put make up on...called a friend...tried to distract myself with TV...nothing is working. I hate to say that, but it's true.
I've been dealing with depression for so many years and it still amazes me how it just sucks the life right out of you. My entire body is aching right now...Okay...maybe I can bring myself to have a bath. Yes, I will do that. But depression is just awful. I am starting to worry about so many things. Mostly about starting my externship on Monday. Ugh... It's not good being alone right now.
So tired, so sad, so hopeless. I'm even typing slower.... I am ready for the next mood change....
Bipolar II, Anxiety/Panic Disorder
Clonazepam .5mg as needed, Trazodone 50mg/day & Lamictal 200 mg/day