I've taken the week off from work, since I was getting burnt out. There's been a lot going on. So, I'm trying to catch up on things I need to do (i.e. laundry, washing dishes, etc.) but it's such a nice day out that I don't want to do any of that kinda of stuff, I just want to get outside and enjoy myself! Maybe I'm buy some violets to brighten up this place!
I haven't gotten much done this week at all! But, I did finally post my wedding dress on ebay. I bought it 10 years ago, and I finally got up enough courage to sell it. I've been meaning to, but there's been a part of me that doesn't want to revisit the fact that he called off the wedding, since he couldn't see himself walking down the aisle with me. On some level that still hurts. So, I'm trying to hold it together, but I've been an emotional wreck lately.
I went home to visit my folks and that usually sets me off. Went I came back, I cried and cried for so many different reasons. I've also been starting to meet some of my boyfriend's friends. I haven't really dated much and this is the first time since the ex-finance, that I've fallen for someone. So, that's also an emotional strain. I love him, but I don't want to get hurt again. So, my guard is up at times, which he completely understands. Plus, he has some issues of his own, just not in the relationship dept.
I've also started taking birth control pills, since we don't want to get pregnant, which are completely &^%$*=# with my system. One day I don't want to get off the couch, the next I don't want to eat anything at all, but have a ton of energy. Whereas today, I'm kinda listless and sad. The last time I was on them was when I was when I was with my ex and it made me really paranoid and depressed. I've been on celexa for about six months now, which has really helped keep my depression in check, but I'm worried that the pill will throw my tentative equilibrium out of wack.