Hey I am sorry I did not post but I have been following your story and I sometimes just stay quiet as members get a person they are working well with and I don't want to butt in.........but hey sweetie, I am right here.
I am Kitt and I have depression. I also understand what your going through as I have some pesonal experience with people who have been through rehab.
Addiction means giving up conscious control. It is impulsive, unconscious behavior. As it is said in Alcoholics (or narcotics) anonymous, addicts are people who have lost all control of their lives, as well as their substance use and abuse. These people have tried many different times to stop using these substances, for their own personal, financial, or social reasons, and yet they couldn't. They were able to stop for short periods, or curb use for longer periods, but true abstinence over an extended period of time is somewhat rare among true addictive personalities. Also, addiction is a progressive disease. I get the feeling that you understand that part of the addiction, it is a disease. Now days with the wonderful rehab facilities more people are beating their addictions.
Now if people come up to you to tell you stories, can you be assertive and tell them to just stop, your husband is ill and under the care of physicians and repeating these stories is wrong and hurtful to both of you.
You have a big decision to make and I hope you have your own therapist to talk through some of these isues with but please write down your pros and cons and take your time. Don't act out of anger and don't worry about what people are saying about you.
They have no right to judge or gossip and if they are then they are wrong and I hope nothing bad or sad ever happens in their life.
You are strong and look how far you have come but your right, being told how strong you are all the time sometimes feels like we cannot give ourselves permission to be human and feel sad, helpless and weak. I give you permission to be human.
I am sure your husband will not like having a new dx but it may have been a contributing factor to his drug addiction too.
I am here for you and I will post.................gentle hugs.