I haven't been around for a few weeks and I am just now seeing this post now. I am so sorry I wasn't here for you when the shi* hit the fan! If you'll remember, I am the person whose husband had the same problem.
My very first thought when I read your post was WOW, SHE IS AN AMAZINGLY STRONG WOMAN. And you are, you were even before he went to rehab. YOU are the glue that holds your family together, and the strong bond you and your son share just proves that fact, the 2 of you didn't fall apart because your husband isn't there because you are the glue.
Your husband's not wanting to read your letters or see you is just as the counselor said, he is ashamed of what has become of him and has to work things out in his own mind. It angers me so much that the insurance won't cover more inpatient time. However, they should cover more time in an intensive outpatient setting (daily or every other day) meetings with a counselor or program....and may then cover even more time for a less intensive treatment (maybe once or twice a week) with NA/AA meetings every day.
I would definitely encourage you to get into meetings too. You can go to the AA/NA or Al-anon meetings for free and if that is the wrong place then they can show you where to go and how to get a sponsor to talk to at any time of day or night.
I, too, know how hard it is to hear the stories of the drug use and how foolish it makes you feel. Everything seemed quite normal around my house, but later my neighbors told me that when I left for work at 2:30 in the afternoon that it was like a completely different place than when I was home....lots of people, cars, and loud music.
I am here for you....and you are more than welcome to email me (its in my profile off to the side). You are in for the fight of your life and it may not be easy and it may end up being a fight that you don't want to deal with. However, at least hearing his ugly party stories is now putting it all out on the table, coming clean, and giving you the option of dealing with it or not. Stay strong, and remember to keep you and your son as first priority.
cervical fusion 2006
L4-5 surgery with cages, plates, and screws in 2005
MEDS: Fentanyl patch, Norco, Celexa, trazodone, and baclofen
To handle yourself, use your head...to handle others, use your heart
I'm going to smile like nothing is wrong, act like everything is perfect, and pretend its not hurting me.