down in the dumps

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 4/18/2008 8:19 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone,
I haven't posted in, well years probably. I haven't been on any medication, or seeing a therapist for about a year now and have been doing quite well, actually making a few new friends and traveling. I'm in college and should be having the time of my life, going out with friends whatever, but I hardly ever leave my house except to go to class or work. I live with my boyfriend and another couple who are my best friends. Those are pretty much the only people I ever hang out with, they are my only friends. Yesterday the girl who I live with got reallllyyy mad at me for telling someone at work that she was talking crap about them.... yeah Im an idiot. She went on to yell at me about how she really cant stand me anymore and that she thinks im no fun to hang out with, im never nice to her and that she really doesn't even like me. Im just so upset over this and I can't even think about anything else. She is my only friend in the world besides my boyfriend. I feel like such a loser that I can't even have friends. I feel like no one likes me. And i haven't had more than 1 or 2 good friends in about 5 years. I'm just a very shy and awkward person so its hard for me to make friends. I had a lot of friends in HS but after meeting my boyfriend senior year, I pretty much just stopped talking to everyone and they have all moved on and have their new groups of friends. I feel like I'm stuck. I think about my old friends from hs who i haven't talked to in 5 years like i saw them yesterday or something. They all have forgotten I even exist and I think about them all the time. Now I'm at my moms house on a Friday night on this message board!

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 4/18/2008 10:03 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi AJ,

I am sure that you are going to make new friends. It just takes time to happen. So don't give up.

Does your boyfriend have anything to do with you secluding yourself from others? Did you give up your friends when you met him? Just wondering. That happened to me years ago.

I don't have a lot of friends, but that is my choice I guess. But in a lifetime, we are lucky to have a few good friends. That is what counts.

I am sure that your housemate will get over being mad at you. But I would not say anything about her that I wouldn't say to her face. In other words don't talk at work about her. And she probably just said those things in the heat of anger. So give her a chance to cool down.

I hope that this helped some

hugs, Karen
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 4/19/2008 5:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi AJfancy..
An old quote comes to mind..a friend is "someone who knows all about you and likes you just same"... - your friend is probably feeling dreadful for the things she said..and as Karen has said she just needs time to cool down..
If nothing else - this whole episode has been a positive 'wake-up' call - you have suddenly become aware that you have isolated yourself (as we do at times) and now might just be the time to regain part of your old self and start making a few phonecalls to your old friends and catch up with what's been happening in their lives - maybe suggest meeting for coffee etc. Just explain that you have been out of circulation for a while - busy with study and work etc. and you were wondering how thay were :)
Be brave - you have nothing to lose and everything to gain:)
Keep us posted.
 'Raindrops on roses..'

Another Day
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2007
Total Posts : 1055
   Posted 4/19/2008 1:58 PM (GMT -6)   


I think Jordan's advice is a great idea.  You could gradually contact, one at a time, some of your old friends and say something along the lines of what Jordan mentioned and I think after getting together with just two or three of them, you would be back in the group.

It sounds like that's what you need in your life and maybe didn't realize it until this little blow-up happened.  Some times things happen for a reason and maybe this did.  Personally, I don't see how a person can center their life around one or two people and feel completely fulfilled.

Please know that we are here for you!



Moderator, Allergies/Asthma
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Epilepsy, asthma, fibromyalgia, GERD, depression, hypothyroidism, tinnitus

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 4/19/2008 2:31 PM (GMT -6)   

Hello AJ,

I have been in your shoes very recently and if you did indeed make a mistake and talked about your room mate then maybe you could sit down with her and tell her you were wrong and you understand her anger.

We all want to be liked and respected. Most of us have an inborn trait to be kind and we do our best to help others in need. We are not dumb, we are kind to a fault sometimes.

The problem is that in our kindness and sharing we sometimes leave ourselves vulnerable to the nasty, selfish people who are only pretending to like us to satisfy their own agendas.

Take a good, hard look at this friend. Does she genuinely cherish your friendship , or is she using you due to an ulterior motive? Just my 2 cents worth.

Try not to isolate yourself to just a few but make friends with many just don't make the mistake of depending on those friends to make you happy.  Your happiness comes from within and only you can control that.

This may be a friend that is not good for you.  When people start screaming and yelling at us it does hurt as we are generally blind sided by the attack.  Try to put it into perspective that her behavior was inappropriate and then decide if you want to mend fences.

I am glad you came here for advice and support.



Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic 
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 4/19/2008 7:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Awesome advice Kitt - as usual :))
 'Raindrops on roses..'

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 4/20/2008 4:51 AM (GMT -6)   

I couldnt agree more Maree. Thats great advice hunni

Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
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