Hello there .It`s been a while since i visited everyone .I have not been in the talkative mood for a while and infact have lost contact with a lot of people over the past few months .
I know that for a while now things have been going down hill steadily with everything and i can notice that i have withdrawn from a lot of things .My marriage which we just past our 27yr it not how i want to feel at this time in my life there is just so much uncertainty in my life .I do not talk to my hubby i tend to keep things to myself and i know it`s not good but thats how it`s been for a long time now.
I use to talk to my oldest daughter quite a bit but she has her own life problems and doesn`t need mine .
My youngest daughter is stilll causing so many problems and hubby is at me because he wants her to do something but wont ask her expects me to lay the law down and i`m sick of talking the flack for him .The youngest who turns 17 in a few months is pushing me to the limit with his actions .
Hubby is talking about moving which is giving me more stress if i leave i leave behind the only two people i talk to (my psychologists ) and i know i will not have the chance of meeting two lovely people like them .
Today i went to see the new Dr here as i needed more medication iam so run down that it`s only adding to my problem but because she is new she is so busy so i left there in no better state of mind than when i went and infact forgot to get one of my medications .She said because she is new she didn`t have the time to talk anyfurthur and told me to come back in a few weeks .
My stress levels are through the roof i know i`m doing more things than i can handle and i just do not have the willpower to say no if asked to do something .
While all this is going on we are in the middle of repainting and renovating our home getting it ready to sell .
I know i can`t tell hubby i do not want to leave here because he is the one who works so hard to keep a roof over our heads and i know i should be happy because of that but i`m not infact i feel so bad about all of whats going on i do not want to even get up each day .
I can`t remember when i was happy it`s been so long .I know i can not go on feeling the way i do about so many things .
sorry to go on but once i started to type it was hard to stop .