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my story and some questions

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Depression
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Posted 4/28/2008 4:33 PM (GMT -8)
about a month ago I told a friend that I was thinking of harming myself. (I think I knew deep down that I needed to do something.) It was one of the hardest things I'd ever done. about a week later things got out of control for me and I hit bottom. I had nothing left to hope for. I wanted it to be over. My friend became very concerned about me after several emails back and forth. And while at the time I didn't think I'd do anything, he did. And he stepped in. (In hindsight, I probably would have done something stupid if he hadn't gotten involved.) He called me over and over and over till I finally answered. He gave me the choice of going with him to get help or he was calling the police. He would not give up on me no matter what. He then sat with me for 5 hours till I could be seen. (To see the look of concern on his face, for fear I do something, helped me realize that there are people who care about me. Care enough that even if I hated them for what they did they would do it anyway.)

They wanted to admit me that night. I didn't want to stay. I was worried people would find out. We were able to come up with an alternate plan. I got to go home and to work like normal. But I had to report to my friend (kinda like parole.) And I had to make an appointment to be seen by a doctor at the clinic within 2 days.

They put me on Lexapro 5mg. It the last thing I'd ever thought I'd be doing. But I know that this is what I have to do. I'm not saying that everything is perfect now, because these things take time. But as time has passed I have begun to see just how many people care about me and would have been deeply hurt.


I've now been on Lexapro 5mg for 3 weeks now and it hasn't really seemed to help my depression. I'm maybe a tiny bit better, but not really noticeable. (The suicidal thoughts are almost gone. Which is good) Went to the dr today and asked for my dose to be upped. I am now to take 10mg for the next 10 days then up it to 15mg if I don' t think that is working. My sleeping has been horrible for a while now and since starting the Lexapro I find that I only sleep a few hours at a time and wake up several times during the night. So the dr also added Trazodone 50mg at bedtime. I am to take 1/2 a tablet and see how it goes. If that doesn't work I'm to take the whole tablet.

Has anybody had any experience with these 2 drugs, especially the Trazodone? The side-effects scare me, and I have to watch for interactions with my other medications for asthma (Advair, Asmanex, Spiriva, Albuterol). The dr does know all the drugs I'm on because it has made it much harder to find an AD that won't cause problems with the asthma meds.

I've also run into a problem with being able to afford all my prescriptions due to a change in my medical coverage. I still have Rx copays but they've gone up considerably. Has anyone gone from Lexapro to Celexa? I know most people go the other way, but Celexa would only be $4 while the Lexapro would be $60.

Thanks,
blue


Blue,I did some editing to your post.. nothing big,but please review our rules:

www.healingwell.com/community/default.aspx?f=46&m=106997

Post Edited By Moderator (ShynSassy) : 4/29/2008 5:33:16 AM (GMT-6)

Posted 4/29/2008 3:35 AM (GMT -8)
Hi Blue

Welcome to the forum,we are very glad that you found us..

Underthebus has given you some great advice.
I just wanted to add that most meds take 4-6 weeks to take full effect, give it some time.

Also,are you currently in any type of therapy?
I am a firm believer that in order to heal from our depression,we have to face what caused the depression in the first place. Meds cover it up. But talking about it is what works the best.

You are very lucky to have a friend like that.. keep that person by your side as much as you can.
Not everyone is that lucky to have someone that cares about them that much to see the signs and to step in.

Keep us posted and stay strong!
Posted 4/29/2008 2:56 PM (GMT -8)
trazadone

used mainly now as a sleeping aid, I wouldn't take it if a was male because aof the condition priapism(prolonged erection that may require surgery) I take this at 300mg. for sleep (w/two other meds, but I have always had severe insomnia) You are less likly to become physically addicted like you do with ambien and lunesta (needing higher dose over time.) You will sleep through the night most likely and may feel tired in the mornings. Taking stimulating anti-depresant an hour before you get up can help with this. Like with all stimulants you must have a healthy heart.

A lot of doctors are wising up and adding stimulants like provigil (appears safe for bipolars) to undo that tired feeling. I took it for a while before moving to stronger stimulant. There are no highs or sudden drop off's. You just don't feel tired.


celexa lexapro

"In general ,Lexapro, which is just a variant of celexa, is very well tolerated.....Lexapro is a variant of (scientifically and commmercially) a variant of Celexa."

Celexa is near having it's patent run out so they took the molecue that is basically celexa (whichis S-enantiomer and L-enantiomer. The L-part does nothing. Lexarpo is only S-enantiomer with the L-enantiomer scooped out. Its more expensive. Swithching should be easy. The book Guide to ESSential Psychiaric Drugs recomends that started depressed or even more so anxious and depressed patients start on Celexa (there is a generic coming soon) and then try prozac. Lexapro may be slightly better becaue of havinga a molecue removed. No one will really know for years.

quietpain
Posted 4/30/2008 4:35 PM (GMT -8)
I am starting to feel a little better. I think the higher dose (10mg) is helping. And I'll probably up it again in a few days to get to 20mg of Lexapro a day. My doctor said I could. Getting more sleep with the help of the trazodone is probably helping too. I've read that it is a mild antidepressant that just happens to be a good sleep aid too. Though it is making me groggy till about noon, but that seems to be getting better each day too. (I've found one bonus with the drugs. It seems like I am not having the nasty mood swings I normally get at that time of the month. :-) )

I'm probably not eligible for any discounted drug programs. I have prescription coverage, just have high copays, and I probably earn too much. When I finally get my new insurance info, I plan to call and ask them what drugs, that are cheaper, they think I switch to. And then I'll call my doc to get new scripts. The doctor I'm seeing for the depression doesn't have a problem switching me from Lexapro to Celexa. She just prefers Lexapro. So far I've been getting free samples. She wants to make sure that this is the right drug for me before I fill a script for it.

I am very grateful to my friend for what he did. I know I am lucky to have him in my life. He happens to be one of the pastors at my church. Though he jokes that he isn't really a pastor, he just plays one on TV. I don't think of him as a pastor. I mostly think of him and his wife as very good friends. It was actually both of them who sat with me for the 5 hours that night and both have come to my appointments. He's the kind of person that will keep me accountable. I know if I messed up or didn't do something that I was supposed to he would be on me like white on rice. The few other people I have told about this have been very supporting too.

I'm not currently in any therapy. I do email my friend a lot and we kinda do e-counseling. I do agree that it would be a good idea, but it scares me to even think about trying to talk to a stranger about things. And I'm waiting to find out what the mental health coverage with my new insurance will be. All I know right now is that all mental health appointments have to be pre-authorized.

It is strongly suspected that the steroids in 2 of the asthma medications I take have probably led to some of the depression. (the straw that broke the camel's back) I started a new drug about 6 months ago and I think things did get a little worse over the last six months. The main thing that has brought me to this low has been the asthma. I was only diagnosed 3 years ago. I never had it before that. It has been hard to control. And while I continue to cough and wheeze, all the tests we have done have come back normal or negative for what ever was tested for. We call it asthma but all the tests say I don't have asthma, but the asthma meds help, therefore we call it asthma. It was the day that I got back the most recent test results (normal) that I lost it and snapped, and my friend had to rescue me from myself.

Thank you all for your replies. It is a great help to know that other people are going through this too and have made it through.

-blue
Posted 5/1/2008 3:37 AM (GMT -8)
Hi Blue

So glad that you are feeling better. Please keep in touch with your friends,as they obviously care about you alot,and are willing to be there for you.

We will also be there for you as much as we can!
Posted 5/3/2008 2:12 PM (GMT -8)
been having a hard time the last few days. feeling really low and just all around blah. makes me wonder if the drugs are working. will up the dose of lexapro next week. hope that makes a difference. only been on it for 4 weeks. just wish i had somebody around to talk to when i feel like this.
Posted 5/3/2008 2:31 PM (GMT -8)
I totally understand what you mean, I feel so alone all of the time..and if it wasn't for this forum I am not sure what I would do.

Stay with us,we will help anyway we can.
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