Yeah, I woke up yesterday feeling fine, like normal, but then I started feeling it during one of my classes. I just get very worried about
it because when I feel that way I get headaches and my neck has been hurting alot... and I have been having these strange sharp pains in the back of my eyes. Its weird. But, it worries me, whether its a bad sign or just my imagination...I dont know. You guys probably know some feelings feel real, but they can be over-imagnined or irrational...so... I am not sure what to be worried about
. I must be in a flare or something... maybe.
Today has been ok. I have felt somewhat upset about
things. I talked to my teacher some this morning, although it kind of made me frustrated. I feel like its so bad, but no one understands how bad it is. I just want to pour everything out or something... I just feel like I am 2 seperate people. One person is happy-go-lucky and the other experiences all these horrible things... I dont like it because sometimes I am the happy person and Im trying to explain to someone about
the bad things, but it doesnt seem like anything is wrong.... BUT when I am the horrible experienced person, I dont speak up and have a meltdown in front of anyone...
I really want that right now. I want to have a meltdown and just cry and say everything. I want everyone I have been trying to tell to understand my pain and what I am/have going through. My mom especially. She doesnt care. She is against the "mild anxiety" pill I am taking now and says I wont be taking anymore of it. (she calls it a nerve pill and claims she is the one who should be taking a "nerve" pill) That made me so upset. If I told her half of everything she would yell and get mad and refuse to believe any of it.
Sorry, I am getting carried away. I cant help it. It just makes me so angry... I dont know yet if I will be seeing my counselor, most likely I wont be...
Hope everyone is doing good. Take care.
"Healing is an energy phenomenon. Hope is another
word for Healing.
"Cracks in the concrete are just reminders that you fall apart
no matter how strong you are"
"Sometimes it is best to forget what you feel and remember what you deserve"
"Im going to
smile like nothing is wrong, talk like everything is perfect, act like its all a dream, and pretend its not hurting me."