I've been with my boyfriend for a year now and it has been a bit of a rollercoaster, Basically to cut a long story short, about
8 years go, I was in a violent, nasty, relationship, with a guy who made me feel really horrible about
myself, I was with him for 3 years and since then I have been depressed on & off, I was with another guy for a few years and I totally bullied him & treated him really badly aswell! So now I am with my current boyfriend and I am head over heels in love! I think he might well be the one! BUT...... I am really defensive, angry, moody and just not very nice to him!! I get totally jelous, I hate it when he goes out with him friends (he doesn't know this!!) and It's making me in to an emotional wreck, he;s such a lovely guy aswell, he is genuinely nice and I feel that he doesn't deserve to be with someone has horrible as me!! I just don't know that I'm ever going to change and if I'll ever be able to make him happy!!
So far he's put up with my behaviour, however recently he's told me that it makes him feel down when I get depressed and that he's sick of me being nasty and snapping and basically being dead aggressive, I asked him if he wanted to split up and he said that he didn't, but he wanted me to try harder to be different etc... But I just don't know what to do? I feel like I should end this relationship as I just don't know if I can ever make him happy, I am so confused! I love him like mad and i do think he feels the same for me, but I just don't know if I can ever change as much as I want to more than anything!! any advice?