You are not pathetic...............you are stressed and on your last thin thread. IMHO you have stuck with him this far and he needs to accept his problem and want to stay clean. If not, you cannot save him. Fishing.........no meetings. You cannot run around trying to find help for all of you when he is not interested so please put yourself first.
Think about what is best for you and your son. Is this really good for your son? Do you have a therapist just for you as I feel you need someone to talk to one on one and talk about you not your husbands problems and feelings but your problems.
Please take steps toward taking care of you. I hate to think of you washing walls in the middle of the night while everyone else is sleeping in your house, including your husband.
You have my support and understanding. Of course you have my hugs too.
Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety ~ Panic
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~