Hi there, this is Kitt and I am right here. You have been going through so much and I know how it wears you down. You have been doing the very best you can and now your feeling like why and what the heck for. It feels to you like for all the good you have done no one given a darn...............remember this is not your disease but your husbands.
Do not accept responsibilities for anyone elses feelings. Your husband has to come to terms with his demons and his anger and projecting it on you is not fair. Your job is to remember you are a good, kind and caring person. If he is difficult with you please tell him you are sorry he feels the way he does but your are doing what you feel is best. Attempt not to get baited into any arguments with him as he may be trying to manipulate you.
AS for the so called friend, they own their own problems and if this is how they want to act toward you then they were never really true friends. Take a good, hard look at these friends. Do you genuinely need them in your life right now? There is a difference between a good friend and a toxic friend. You need not rely upon others to judge whether your actions are proper or correct. These "friends" may disagree or disapprove but you have the option to disregard their preferences or to workout a compromise. Remember we are here for you and sending you bushels of hugs and barrels of support and prayers.
"The strength of the heart comes from the soundness of the faith" - Anonymous
You are not pathetic...............you are stressed and on your last thin thread. IMHO you have stuck with him this far and he needs to accept his problem and want to stay clean. If not, you cannot save him. Fishing.........no meetings. You cannot run around trying to find help for all of you when he is not interested so please put yourself first.
Think about what is best for you and your son. Is this really good for your son? Do you have a therapist just for you as I feel you need someone to talk to one on one and talk about you not your husbands problems and feelings but your problems.
Please take steps toward taking care of you. I hate to think of you washing walls in the middle of the night while everyone else is sleeping in your house, including your husband.
You have my support and understanding. Of course you have my hugs too.Kitt
You have tried really really hard to keep this marriage afloat. You have put so much effort into it that I can understand that it is wearing you down. I think you need to take a good long look at the long term picture. This doesnt just effect your husband, but also you and your son and those around you as well. You have to do what is right by yourself.
Like Karen, I think you really have hit the nail on the head. Its a hard realisation to accept and come to terms with and even harder to make the right decision about what to do next. Always know that we will be for you and will give you whatever support we can. I think you need to make a decision as to where you and your son go from here. As you have already said, all the love and care in the world will not change someone who is not ready to change.