haven't posted here in a while. I thought I had gotten over depression once again, but it was only a sad hope. I was feeling on the top of the world. But then i came crashing down and hit hard. I feel like i have no one to talk to. It odd... before... i was always down and i wouldnt have a real reason... but now... it seems like its all centered around my mom... she doesnt seem to understand that what she says to me, makes me feel so much more worse... what she says i guess wouldnt be so bad to someone who is not depressed, but to me, it hits me hard right in the gut. She just start talking to me out of the blue and point out all of my mistakes and what i dont do right... and shed make me feel like all of it was myfault... it just might be, but it really hurts inside to know that my mom seemingly hates me. Ive always thought of talking to her to tell her all of this stuff, but i know that either she wouldnt let me finish and start her little tangent on me, or id get choked up and not even be able to say anything and then id look like an idiot, wanting to tell her something, but cant... Right now, i feel like i have no one who cares and wants to listen to me. (here being colorado in my life) Everything just seems to be falling out of control, bits of my life falling to the abyss and i can only watch and try to make it through the day. Like ive said many times in my previous posts, I dont know what to do anymore... i feel like i want to just give up and let everything slip, but i know that that'll just make everything worse and i proabably wont get anywhere. I'm lost...
~"When one door of happiness closes, another
opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been
opened for us." ~Helen Keller