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how do you tell your family about your depression?

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Posted 5/19/2008 7:34 PM (GMT -7)
those of you who have read my other posts, know that my main person to talk to what is going on in my life is my friend and pastor. We've also included a lady that I greatly trust in my church as part of my support system. We were talking the other day and they asked if I had told my mom what is going on. The answer is no. What I want to know is how do you tell your family that you were thinking about suicide and are now on antidepressants? I feel like if I tell her, that I'm just admitting defeat. That I'm disappointing her. That I'll hurt her. Even though I now live 5 hours away, we talk almost every week. We get along great, but I just can't bring myself to tell her.

~blue
Posted 5/20/2008 12:59 AM (GMT -7)
Eej Blue,

Telling your family is one tough thing to do. Each human individual is different, so each individual will react different to a confession like yours. But your family loves you, and I believe they will understand you. Of course, it can be a shock, but I am sure you will feel better afterwards, and that is what matters. And your family, especially your mom, can be a great support.

From personal experience I can tell you, as soon as you realizes that you are depressed, you can start to heal. Support from people you know will katalyse this proces.

I don't know you and I don't know your family, but my advise is just to let go of all those negative thoughts and tell them.

All the best!
Erik
Posted 5/20/2008 4:51 AM (GMT -7)
Blue

Quite frankly your family probably already knows that there is something going on with you. No matter how good you think you did on hiding it.

And as a mom myself, she is going to want to know what is going on with you. Trust her,and see what a mom's love can do.
Posted 5/22/2008 11:39 AM (GMT -7)
My mom probably knows somethings been up (or should I say, down) with me. Mother's intuition and all. I haven't been home since Christmas and won't get a chance until September. I know I need to tell her. Just not sure I can right now. And if and when I tell her, I feel like she needs to know the whole story not just bits and pieces. I just don't know how to tell her. I feel like if I just blurt it all out, it might be too much. sigh. :(

~blue
Posted 5/22/2008 2:56 PM (GMT -7)
Hi Blue,

Even if you blurt it all out, it is a start. You can always organize it in thought later. But it sounds like it is important to you to talk to your mom, so anywhere is a good place to start. Just open your self up the best way that you know how.

Good luck,
hugs, Karen
Posted 5/22/2008 3:18 PM (GMT -7)

Hiya,

Blurting it out can sometimes be more effective than trying to be tactful. Sometimes when people try and be tactful they end up dressing it up as something it isnt and going round the houses, eventually not acheiving anything. Sometimes it is best to just come out with it and allow your mother to ask questions. Its whatever you feel most comfortable with.

Darren

Posted 5/23/2008 4:06 AM (GMT -7)
Blue

I left my Ex husband after 13 years of total hell. My family had no idea what was going on.
I ended up spilling my guts while I was staying with my mom,we had a couple glasses of wine and once I started talking the words just spilled out.

When you have that much pain inside of you,and once you start talking, it almost feels like a river rushing out of your brain.... just pick a smaller item to talk about at first,and then move on to the next one.
Posted 5/23/2008 4:21 PM (GMT -7)
I told my mom last night. I started by telling her that I have been on antidepressants for 7 weeks and went from there. I told her as much as I felt I could, though I didn't expressly say I was suicidal, but I know she knows that is what I was talking about. She knows that I'm having issues and that's where I choose to leave it. This was the second hardest thing I've ever done.

Thank you all for your support and input.

~blue
Posted 5/23/2008 4:47 PM (GMT -7)
Hi Blue,

I am so happy that you talked to your mom. That must have bee a lot of weight lifted off of your shoulders. I hope that you are feeling better.

Hugs, Karen
Posted 5/24/2008 3:54 AM (GMT -7)

Hiya,

I am so pleased that you have managed to talk to her. Hopefully now you can have regular chats about how you feel etc... so that you dont end up with a load of feelings bottled up.

Well Done!

Darren

Posted 5/24/2008 4:06 PM (GMT -7)
That is awesome news, just tell her what you are feeling at the time,and soon you will probably feel comfortable with telling her everything.
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