Posted 5/27/2008 12:56 PM (GMT -7)
I don't want to blow this up too much, because we are who we are and nothing else, but there is a reason why Jordan is a moderator, probably because she has helped a lot of people in the past. And her message does contain something, the statement that life is what we make of it. Nothing more. Life is just that, and the world around us is nothing more than how we percieve it. Depression will make the world an evil and sad place, while positivity will make you fall in love with everything you see.
And this may sound harsh, but the truth is that it is all in our head. I've experienced that first hand. Meds can make you feel better, but I believe every single human being will eventually be able to cure hisself. To tell you my story, I have been depressed for years. One night I couldn't sleep because of the pain, sadness, hopelessness, and loneliness. It was more intense than ever. I suddenly became numb, and at first I thought it was bad, because the pain was gone. I felt a sleep and the morning after I felt depressed again, but with the realization that the pain has to be stopped, it consumed me. As soon as I wanted to be better, it got better. I just got enough of the pain.
I am not suggesting that you haven't suffered enough, not at all, but if you truly want to be happy, you will find ways to become happy. Happiness is everywere, you just need to look. Step outside of the house to enjoy a breeze of wind, enjoy being alive. Listen to the birds, so many people aren't listening anymore. Don't think of the past, don't think of the future, because it was and will be, but never is. Reduce time to seconds and hours on the clock, only use the future for planning, and die for the past, because you can not change it.
Life is what you make of it. Life isn't made by your parents, your friends, your enemies, it is made by you alone. Try to observe the situation and act by it. For instance, if you feel bad because you are alone, accept that you are alone, and try to change it for the better. People won't go looking for you, you need to go looking for them. As I, and probably you too, have experienced, depression will make it lots harder to change situations. Yet change is what we need to do. Change in every sence of the word. Not change the outside, but perform the most radical change imaginable, the change of the "Self", as it is called in the East. It is, in my opinion, the only way to true salvation. Because every other way relies and outside sources, such as status, being loved, family, drugs. Things that can, and most of the time will, fade away. Only to leave you with pain.
To end my story I would like to get back to something you said in a post before, that you just shouldn't say be happy to a depressed person, because it isn't that simple. Well, if happiness means no more pain, I would like to say to you, create no more pain. It is simple in words, but it isn't simple to achieve, because most of us need pain to create a self-identity, to let others know who they are, and how they suffered. But wanting pain is actually insane, so don't create it anymore. It is hard, very hard, but the only way to feel no more pain is to create no more pain. That is exactly why some people use drugs, because during the high they don't create and experience pain. And if pain does show up, observe and accept it. Believe me, it won't be pain after you fully accepted it.
I wish you all the best in the future, and please try to listen to the birds, it is the best advice I can give you.