I just popped over to the depression thread on a whim - normally I post to the chronic pain section. But I've got a lot of professional background that might be of help here.
First, please stick with the counseling. It is not a "quick fix" process, but if you have a good therapist and work through things, it can help. Second, depression and anxiety have many causes, including genetic. There is often a biochemical component as well as psychological and social issues, so if the therapist is recommending your wife consider medication he/she likely sees the need for it. And sometiemes without the medication the depression will not improve. The best outcomes are with a combination of therapy and medication. I would encourage your wife to follow through with the suggestions, but you cannot control what she chooses to do. You can control and decide how you're going to learn and grow during this time.
I sense you have a commitment to the marriage, and that's wonderful and very much needed to get you through these trying times. I don't know what it is you may have done, but if, for example, there was a breach of trust that in and of itself can take months or even a couple of years to repair. That's without any depression or anxiety on your wife's part. If there's been an affair, or any physical or emotional abuse, these are breaches of trust. I'm not trying to judge you, just trying to offer some guidance. Many people want the pain to go away fast, and not have to work through the tough details, but there's no way around it. Yet, if you do, it can be very well worth it. Your therapist may be able to recommend some things for you to read to show you that it's possible to heal a marriage, but it may take time.
And it may be very difficult to do if your wife doesn't get the recommended help. It's not easy for either of you, but if you do your part, and stay focused on what you can control, your wife may begin to believe that you're really working at it, and may be more willing to seek help for herself.
I hope this helps some.
Please understand that while I've got some professional background, I am not here offering advice in a professional capacity. I'm just a chronic pain patient who happened to check out this board. Interesting coincidence I stumbled over here just as you did!
Post Edited (PAlady) : 5/28/2008 3:40:11 PM (GMT-6)