*Peeks in* Umm... A little shy...

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Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 5/30/2008 7:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Normally, I stay in the Crohn's Disease message board. I have been depressed lately (from dealing with my illness, one of my medicines affecting my moods, and I also have a lot of life issues (financial, family, etc.)...)... But normally, I can handle it on my own and have generally been an upbeat, optimistic person... (The medicine I'm on right now seems to be severely affecting that, but I think if I'm able to get off of that medicine and maybe some therapy, I'll be back to my old self again...)

Anyway... I came in because... I have this friend who has severe depression. She's really been having a hard time dealing with it. I'm thinking she probably needs a better treatment plan or something. She really can't go on the way she's been going on... :(...

I'm really trying to be as understanding as I can be... I know depression is an illness. (And I tell my friend that it's like with any illness... like my illness... You have to fight it the best you can... But she keeps telling me she doesn't want to fight it... that there's no point... that it's a waste of energy and that there's nothing anyone can do...)

She tells me I don't understand... She said that my depression has a cause... That it's situational...

And... since you guys are here, I figure you probably know a lot about depression...

Is my depression, being that I can pinpoint the causes of it... I dunno... make it any less... depressing? I'm confused...
I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.

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Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 5/30/2008 12:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Eej Celey,

I think others might be a able to answer your question better than I can.

Knowing what the cause of the depression is can help a lot. You will be able to locate it, fight it, accept it, etc. If your sadness has no source, it is a lot harder to stop it. Compare it to a sinking ship. If you know the leak, it will be easier to fix it. At least, that is what I think.

But every depression has a cause, because in a normal state no one would chose to be sad. If everything is ok, you wouldn't feel bad, would you? I think your friend might know the cause of her depression, but she feels ashamed of it, because your cause is a somehow more "legit" one. This is just guessing however, but for me, I used to feel ashamed of my depression and the causes. I thought it would be pathetic to feel bad because of those reasons. That made me feel even worse.

It might be the same with your friend. And your friend might want to seek counseling of some sort, to convince her that she can get rid of the depression by standing up to it.

I hope this helps somewhat, and I wish you all the best in the future!
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Nov 2007
Total Posts : 6795
   Posted 5/30/2008 4:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Celey,
You're a good friend - trying to help and find out more information. People with depression need support, but it can certainly be draining when you yourself are dealing with your own health challenges, and especially if your friend doesn't want to get help.

Depression has many causes, and many factors can contribute. I'm guessing you know this. Lots of people have some genetic predisposition that they certainly had no choice in getting. So sometimes depression is just that and nothing else - a biochemical imbalance that needs correcting with some medication, just like any other physiological condition. But sometimes it's triggered or complicated by stressful events in one's life. Add to that the social stigma and that's why many people are reluctant to get help, or maybe to even find out the causes of their depression. Sometimes you never find one cause, but that doesn't matter because the treatments are often the same - combination of medication (for many, but not necessarily for all) and psychotherapy (again, for many, but not for all).

If your friend is refusing help, there's only so much you can do. One thing - if your friend is suicidal (and I'm wondering because you describe "severe depression" and your friends comments about there's "no point") don't try to take this on by yourself. Call for help if need be, even 911. Offer to take her to the ER. But remember the ultimate responsibility for her choices belong to her.

I don't know if this helps. I post mostly to the chronic pain board so if you need to ask more find me over there!


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Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 5/31/2008 4:14 AM (GMT -6)   


Depression can have pin-point causes (and usually it does) but sometimes it is just an amalgamation of different stressors which just get on top of you. Your friend certainly needs some help and support from what you are saying but there is only a limited amount of help you can give her. If she is not prepared to fight herself, then much of the energy you invest will be in vain. All you can really do is be there for her when she needs you. As for pin-point causes making depression less depressing... its not a theory I buy into.


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
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Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 1284
   Posted 6/1/2008 6:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for your support... but... the thing is... She does get counseling... and she does take medicine... And she's still very depressed...

I think I am being picked on by life, sometimes. But's that okay. Life and I are good buddies... I know life doesn't mean no harm. It just is the way it is. I can accept that.

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