Yes bribing does seem to work better,at thiteen my son is complety into himslef, and my husb isnt gone shell out any money right now for work the should be doing, matter of fact Ireally think that my husband feels if they dont do it, then i should, and i disagree, i just dont know if my husb and i will be on the same side of the table again, my room is fairly clean, except my daughter sleeping in it. She wont stop, my son slept in there til a late age too, and sometimes still does, he swore he heard an alien outside his window the other night and ran in bed with me( yes he has issues). He stayed in his crib practacally until his sister was born, his is almost 5 yrs older than her. once he left the crib he sleot with us for 5 or so years.
He had night terrors too, that was lovely(not!!)
kara sleot on her own til about 7, now these last 2 yrs she sleeps in my bed, which i see no end to anytime soon. i dont een mind washing and folding their laudry as long it stays put awaym and my daughter is terrible about changingher clothes 5x a day and leaving it all over the floor. The dishs, I ask then the be rinsed and stuck in the dishwasherm no one can do that, i dont mind washing them and then putting them away, just put the dam dish in the dsihwasher please. some times my daughter will help me put the dishes away if i ask. no oe ever does anythng to help if ot asked, except my husband who really working his two jobs, keeping our lawn cut and we have a lot of lawn with 5 acres, his moms lawn, and anothr house he owns, so he works his butt off, i cant exoect him to do household chores. But i am resentful that he has moved into his own nice tidy little room he keeps locks, he sleeps there watches tv, whatever. I am sure he talks to mom about it, and she agrees withhim 100 percent. But to me its like a slap in the face. Its tells me he is my roommate not my husbnad. I see no end in sight to it either, and if I could I would leave and possible take my daughter with me, but he wont allow it. i mentioned in the heat of the moment as he was talking to me like a child, i screamed( which i never do to him) but i couldnt help I had had all I could take, and said i was gonna leave i have a nice tidy apt like him, and taking kara with me, even tho her room is the messiet, i mean you cant walk in it.
i cant help for wanting to leave, i see know end in sight as far as anything. I feel trapped to live in a mess, or go. I know my husband loves me, but it will never be the same, no matter how much weight i lose, our ideas about things now are on the opposite side of the spectrum. So what happens when i start to sub, and im not home all day, is till my responsibilty to have the house clean when Im working too, I cant bribe them I have no money. See i just tryed talking to my daughter about it, she sais stop talking i dont want to talk about, i toldher i was throwing away wht i found on the floor, my son has been keeping his room clean, but other then that he doesnt nothig to help clean anything else. he takes a shower leaves his dirty clothes and towls all over the hall floor, or he throw his doirty clothes out the door, expecting me to clean them, he can put them in a laundry basket. I just feel trapped with no way out, it is very depressing to me, and we got to church, and i have written the pastor about all this, swearing him not to tell my husband, and said he wouldnt and that he pray for us, he knows now that hub has his own little apt downstairs.
he made a big tadoo about making too, toook down all my things hanging in there, painted the whole rooom, bought a new bed, and dresser and tv. i feel i deserve this too, why is it all my responsiblity. I am just venting, i feel very very trapped, the only time i feel good is when i go to visit my friend , and hope my husb will pay for the gas. Me and kara spend the night and she minds my friend, wehter she likes it or not.
Ok I am exhausted whining about it, I just have to have someone to talk too.