My husband of 4 years (we've been together a total of 12) has started to fall apart. He works with his family and HATES his job but feels like he is trapped. It would be difficult for all if he left the business, and he is making good money so is afraid of change. But he is miserable. He has talked to his family before with no success. The business is not doing well and would fall apart if he were to leave. I try to tell him this is not his fault, and support him leaving, but this is an impass.
A year or so his personality started changing. Once quiet and thoughtful, he became obnoxious and sometimes outright rude. Once a silent observer at social gatherings, he started being the life of the party. He drinks a lot and sometimes does drugs, mostly prescriptions he gets from "friends."
He quit drinking cold turkey a few months ago. He got the shakes, DTs, but wouldn't go to a doctor. After about a week of hell he seemed better. More stable. We took a long vacation, and he started drinking again. His behaviour started to worsen rapidly, to the point where i was embarrassed by him. It seems he just stopped caring.
His return to work was difficult. He's still drinking, and miserable, but starting to really disconnect from me. For the longest time we still felt close, even though he was acting so strange. Now he is pulling away from me too. He is not suicidal i don't think but says he wishes he could implode. He wakes up crying some mornings. He jokes about divorce. He says he doesn't care about the world anymore. He says he doesn't want me to suffer (!) and to "do what i gotta do."
I have mentioned therapy and he scoffs at the thought. I'm afraid most psychiatrists wouldn't be able to reach him, he needs someone he trusts I think, and it is so hard to tell by ads in the yellowpages or the internet who would be a good choice anyway.
I have always stood by him. Always the voice of reason, supporting him. I'm afraid I'm enabling him. I'm starting to break. He really is getting to me, and now I fear he is trying to push me away to protect me. I don't really have anyone to talk to... have thought about talking to his family (we are close) but the thought makes me shudder. I don't think he is really bipolar, but definately depressed.
Just writing this makes me feel better though, does anyone have any advice? Where should I start? Is there a good way to find a psychiatrist or therapist? I think if I found someone good he might be convinced to go.
Thanks for reading this... and for any help you can offer.