Hi everyone I just really need to post right now. I really dont understand what is wrong with me. I hate the fact that I suffer from extreme loneliness yet Im the one who leaves church early so I dont have to talk to anyone and isolate myself. I got really upset tonight because I hate it when people think they know what is wrong with my body and try to fix me. I have had gastroparesis for 5 years now and have suffered greatly from it. I've also suffered with anorexia and binge eating and a host of other physical problems. I'm so frustrated because I have serious complications in my throat and most days I cant eat anything at all, I get faint and weak and my head pounds due to lack of eating properly. The pain in my throat is so awful food is totally unappealing to me. I try to get something down but its hard. Im so sick of being sick and not having my organs function properly. I am going to a doc trying to get this treated but so far I have not found a cure or relief from my problems. No one knows the hell I go through with this everyday of my life. I feel like I am stuck in a prison cell and cant get out. And then of course the chronic pain I face everyday has made my depression really awful. I feel so alone cause Im stuck in my body suffering and I feel as thoiugh no one understands my pain and what I am going through. I cant even function at work anymore. I'm so sick of being depressed but who woudnt be depressed with all this ongoing pain everyday? Im 27 and have to move back home because I cant function at work due to my illness. I hate this so much, why does anyone have to suffer like this?
This lady at church made me upset cause she knows Ive been sick and thinks she knows exactly what is wrong with me and tries to fix me and tell me what to do. Tonight I got so upset I just got up and left. I know she has no idea the hell go through with this and I'm not trying to be crude but it just upset me cause I feel like no one understands at all. And then my guy friend who I have been talking to for the past month got up and sat with another girl and didnt talk to me at all. That really bothered me a lot. Its like why do I waist my time trying to develope a relationship with someone?? I know that probably shouldnt have upset me so much, but why would you just get up in the middle of church service and go sit with another girl after youve been sitting next to me? He calls me everyday too, and I just recently found out hes been calling her too. I mean we are not dating like seriously but still that just really bothers me, I feel like a peice of meat like why would someone do that? Is he just playing me or something? I was really upset and thats another reason I left church right after service was over. Am I being ridiculous about
that? I dont know what is wrong with me I wish so bad I could just be healed and be the beautiful woman I used to be years ago. Im really really depressed and just cant seem to see a light everything looks dark and I hate feeling this way. Sorry to complain I just really needed to talk about
how I am feeling its really upseting me.
I gave your post a title. :)
Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 6/15/2008 9:24:43 AM (GMT-6)