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New Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 6/15/2008 8:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Just wondering if anyone else suffers from red rages?  I stuff all of this anger down again and again until I explode.  My living situation is the problem right now.  I live with my sister who has this loser daughter who thinks it is more important to spend the night with her boyfriend than to take care of her 3 year old son.  He gets dropped off to my sister and it really is an inconvience to me.  He is not a bad kid but he is 3 years old and I really don't have patience with kids.  I am 40 and don't have any for that reason.  I couldn't and wouldn't raise my kids with no patience as my  mom did.  As we know it takes 3 generations to change the pattern which doesn't change in my family.  I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters with I don't know how many nieces and nephew and greats.  They have spawned enough dysfunction for 20 people.  So it is my living situation that ticks  me off.   I am tired of having kids around.  I am tired of the mess that isn't mine that I have to clean up because my sister is so depressed she sits on her computer all day.  I know for my mental health I should move out but then I worry about her and how she is going to make it on 13 dollars an hour?  The move out is coming because my stuffing anger box is getting full.  We have lived together for 9 years and she has consistently gotten worse.  Her depression, which runs to every sibling, has gotten worse and she has gotten more apathetic as the time has gone by.  She also takes no meds for it.  When I talk to her about my meds she tells me that I should just give it a little time that it hasn't stopped working I am just going through a rough patch.  When people, especially people who have been or are depressed, say garbage like that I just want to slap them.  Can we be so ignorant?  I have suffered from red rages all of my life but I knew when they came back and then turned into depression and anger, my meds weren't working.  Frustrating in itself which is why I have great hope for Lamictal.   
Thanks for letting me vent, picture a red faced cartoon character with steam coming out of the ears, I am going to channel my anger into some house cleaning just so I can irritate the other side of the house!  LOL

Post Edited By Moderator (stkitt) : 6/15/2008 8:55:35 AM (GMT-6)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 6/15/2008 8:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Keely,

You need to think of yourself at this time, is lamictal a mood stabilizer by any chance? I take abilify for that. and it really helps. But I think that yours sounds to be situational. I don't have any kids because my mother was abusive to hers. And I didn't want to repeat that pattern either. So I broke the chain at that point.

If you can make it by moving out, I think that would be a good idea. You can't help what your sister is going through and you have to take care of your needs. She will make it okay, I am sure. Or talk to her about it and tell her that you can't be a live in baby sitter. Your patience is running thin. Maybe she will look after her grandson a little more instead of putting it on you. I truly understand where you are coming from. I think that this would be better than having it wear on your patience.

I hope that this has helped some, I am sure that there will be more people chiming in with some advice.

Luv and hugs,
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 6/15/2008 10:08 AM (GMT -6)   

Good Morning Keely

I am so sorry you are in a bad place right now but I would hope that you recognize you have what appears to be an anger management disorder with your depression.  I am not a professional but I do hope you have a therapist and that you are able to talk through your feelings with this person.

I would  recommend a small counseling group approach so as to employ peer support. ...the feedback from a group can help you recognize what triggers your anger and in your post it appears you are pretty angry about life in general.

Stress is your response to any physical, emotional or intellectual demands. It feels to me you are using anger, bottling it up and trying to manage your stress by getting by.

I admire your  wanting to help others in your family but agree with Karen, you need to take care of you right now and if you don't you will not be any use to helping others.

You deserve peace and happiness, you are a good person in a bad situation.

Gentle Hugs



Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 6/15/2008 11:14 AM (GMT -6)   


'Red Rage' as you call it (Sometimes called 'Red Fog') is more common than people realise but the good thing is that there are loads of psychological treatments for anger management issues. Its good that you recognise it is happening and hopefully with the help of a professional therapist, you can channel the anger into something more constructive. Perhaps you can talk to the children and get them to help around the house?


Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
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