It's been awhile since I've posted on here, but I could sure use some advice and perspective. I am currently in the military and overseas in Kuwait. I am married with three children. two under the age of 5. My spouse was diagnosed with depression a long time ago and exhibits symptoms of adhd and other possible issues. He has been seeing a pyschiatrist who has been prescribing him medication for roughly about 4 months now. He was also on medication when we first met.
My husband's depression and anxiety has gotten so bad that it has literally ripped our marriage to shreds and I stand here wondering whether I should even attempt to collect the pieces and attempt to put it back together. We have fought constantly about everything from finances to the kids and his lack of employment/direction. Due to his depression, he has been unable to hold down a job for any length of time and I am forced to provide financially for our family. What is worse is that he is not supportive of me making any sort of career in anything because seeing me succeed makes him feel bad about himself.
I have tried to be supportive of him, though I admit that I definately was not in the beginning and I have failed to be a soft place to land on my fair share of occasions. I have been frustrated to no end because he has severely financially handicapped me and our family on numerous occasions due to his impulse buying (read thousands of dollars down the drain.) To add insult to injury, I found out right before I deployed that he had created a fake persona online and presented himself as a single, separated individual looking for someone to date. He met two different girls and kissed one of them. It's been a torture just dealing with all of this while being over here away from my family and I feel trapped and don't know what to do. I really do want my marriage to work but I can't help but think that I'm just being taken for a ride and he's just going to take everything away from me and I will come back, penniless and with no family.
He has said time and time again that he wants to work it out and that he is sorry. He says sorry everytime he messes up and I just want all of the lying, deception and fighting to stop. He goes through cycles that drive me crazy, meaning that he seems to be ok and tells me he loves me and supports me one minute but then later tells me how much I piss him off and how he thinks I've abandoned my children (since I'm deployed for 9 months). What is a person to do? Is it possible to fix something like this from this far away? My husband does have a support network in my family and friends while I am away, but he doesn't care. All he tells me is that his life is hell (taking care of the kids) and that I am on a vacation.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.