I don't feel that I can go on, I feel that I am decaying from the inside out, I feel that I can not take another step forward as for every forward step there are 5 back, so why keep trying, I can't do this anymore, I really can't.
A person who has a poor self-image may feel threatened and believe that she has nothing to offer to keep someone else interested.
If this is what is upsetting you tonight then I definitely think you need to seek help from a professional as your above quote is very concerning. I am going to post the crisis hotline numbers for you and ask you to please contact them if you truly feel you cannot do this anymore.
NDMDA Depression Hotline | Support Group. 800-826-3632
Crisis Help Line | For Any Kind of Crisis 800-233-4357
The US Suicide Hotline 1-800-784-2433
I agree with Darren, you need professional counseling and we are not professionals, we are peers and here to suppot you as you take steps toward trying to heal.
Gentle hugs and please try to work toward getting better.