Thanks everyone for all your help .
Today i feel great ( just hope it will last ).
This morning i gave the psychologist the flick and have decided to do this on my own .No more meds Drs or therapists .I am going to give it a go .
I have been seeing therapist for a lot of years and still i feel like i could end everything tomorrow if i continued they way i was .Last appointment was earlier this week and i have felt just so bad ,angry and really dissappointed in many things as a result of it .The think is everytime i see them they just bring it all up again and i do not want that anymore i want to move ahead .I know it`s going to be hard but am willing to give it a go what have i got to loose well one one thing and we are not going to go there my family i really think i lost them a long time ago just took a few lovely people to wake me up to that.
Today the sun is shining and it`s the best i have felt in a long time and i want it to continue .
The dark past i want to erase as best i can not remember .So if not having a childhood is the worst thing well be it so .
If the family don`t like the new me well there`s the door