I dont usually post here, but as I suffer from depression, just thought I would add my 2 cents worth.
Like so many of you, I was in a downward spiral too when I was in my 20's. I know that feeling of living hand to mouth very well.
Today is hard, everything is so expensive, I mean really expensive. My money woes, and life in general felt like, "what the hell is this? life?" I wasnt living, I was existing, and I see that very thing in many of you. Can you not go to your bank and talk with a credit advisor? They can help you more than you realize. Combining your debts to one payment, taking in consideration of what you earn, and what it costs you to live. One payment. I dont know if you have that where you are, I hope you would consider that. Bankrupcy is an ugly term, but can be a life saver for many. Talking with a financial professional will help. Life is hard enough with our little depression demons looking over our shoulders, much less manage your life when you are overwhelmed with debt.
Dark, you are focusing on the bad, so much so, that you beat yourself up. We all have our flaws, it's just human nature. I bet there are people you know, that would be stunned at how badly you perceive yourself. You probably have made a difference in someone elses life and dont even know it. Like Karen said, cut up those credit cards!!!" Go to your bank, talk to someone, and maybe they will be able to get you back on track again.
Depression is a lonely dark pit, but Kitt said it so well...that little light of hope.
((((Kitt))) I am so sorry for your loss, I lost a son too :((