I'm divorced and remarried but I have been where you are to a certain degree. For me, I married young at 18 (he was 24) and after 10 years of marriage and three children, I was also in a controlling relationship. He was never physically abusive but he yelled a lot and would punch holes in doors and walls, I guess instead of hitting me is how he rationalized it. Finally at 28, I had had enough and I left, and it took a long time to get through it and it was really difficult for my boys.who were 5 and 7 at the time. My daughter is the most well adjusted since she doesn't remember the chaos, and was barely 3 at the time.
It doesn't sound like it is your fault!! I'm sorry you feel so alone and its hard when you feel you don't have anyone to talk to, I have been where you are..and it does get better. Please do what is best for you and your and your son, and depending on his age counseling is an option for him as well.