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New Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/2/2008 12:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey everyone I'm new here.  It's one of those days where I'm feeling depressed and have no valid reason to feel so.  I just don't understand it.  Some days, most days I feel fine, and then there are days like today were I am just sad, and depressed for no reason and out of nowhere.  I was fine until lunch, when I realized my husband wouldn't be coming home.  Then all of a sudden my mind went crazy and started thinking about how I'm never first in our life.  He's a soldier and pretty much that comes first.  It's not by choice, it's just the lifestyle.  I started feeling this way the 1st time he went to Iraq, and now, after his second time I'm still like that some days.  I hate to imagine his 3rd tour coming up.  Sometimes when he's gone I have anxiety attacks too.  I'm worried about the depression cuz it just seems to come out of nowhere and for no reason.  This can't be normal right?  Shouldn't you be depressed BECAUSE of something?  Like a family member dying, or something?  I just feel lost.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 585
   Posted 7/2/2008 1:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Heej Whoknows,

Welcome to HW!
First I'd like to point out that depression doesn't need a cause. Sometimes you just feel bad. And judging by what you wrote, yours does have a "cause", when your husband is away. Or maybe that isn't the cause. And I don't know if you blame yourself for being depressed for such a reason, but don't. Blame will only make it worse, it doesn't help.

I would advise you to seek some counseling as well, as those are trained professionals who will be better at helping you out of it. Please remember that some forms of depression can be treated with medication, so that might be something to look out for as well.

To state it again, depression doesn't need a cause, and accepting your depression (as you already have done) is a great first step to take for making it go away.

I wish you all the best, and if you have any questions, or just want to chat, I will be here.
Acceptance is the key

Existential depression and Insecurity

Try to keep smiling! :)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 7/2/2008 2:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Whoknows,

It looks like Erik summed it all up. I can only reinforce what he has already said. Counseling is such a good suggestion. Especially in your situation. It is hard when your husband is away at war. And especially this being his second tour. I am sorry that you have to go through this. I hope that he comes back safe and sound so that you two can continue to enjoy your lives together. And try to look forward to that time. I hope that you can stay happy. And I wish you a wonderful day. Also welcome to healing well.

hugs, Karen
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 7/2/2008 6:55 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi WhoKnows, I was glad to see your post and welcome you also.  You have found a very good place to get support from others.  Everyone on this forum is so caring and helpful.  I think counseling is a very good idea.  And if you are on a military base they may have therapy serviices available to spouses of soldiers.  I hope you will look into it.  Are there other wives you can talk to and share your feelings?  It always helps to have a good support base.  I hope you have family that you can also talk to.  If you are able to, the chat room for our depression group is Tuesdays. You would have to look at the chat schedule to see what time zone would be the right time for you. I find the chat room very helpful.  It is just like talking to someone with you.  Also you can post as often as you want and there is always someone who will respond.  You are in good company here. This group has helped me so much as I can get very down and have a lot of trouble with lonliness.  I also want to say that your husband serving his country is a very honorable and noble accomplishment.  I can only imagine how hard it can be for you but he is a real hero.  I will keep you both in my prayers and hope you will feel comfortable chatting here.

Hugs, Aurora

New Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/3/2008 9:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks everyone.  I guess maybe I should talk to someone, maybe something out there can make things a little *happier* around here.  My husband is actually home right now though.  He just finished his 2nd tour a few months ago and is scheduled for his 3rd at the end of the year.  That does make it worse though.  When he's gone the lonliness kicks into depression. 

New Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/3/2008 10:00 AM (GMT -6)   
You know the hardest part is I hide it most of the time.  I'm afraid if I bring it around my husband or friends that I will bring everyone else down.  I hate feeling this way.  I tried talking to my husband a little about it but I don't think he really can understand it. 

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/3/2008 10:11 AM (GMT -6)   


You've found a safe, caring , and reliable support community for people battling Depression.. We have many members here who will be glad to lend an ear, offer information, and provide support for people who need it.

I understand you well, I hide it too, more then anyone knows.  I can feel so alone and lost so please do take advice from the wise ones who have posted before me.



Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

Beyond my Control
New Member

Date Joined Jun 2008
Total Posts : 16
   Posted 7/8/2008 4:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello whoknows,
When it comes to depression or just feeling sad without an exact reason - life becomes complicated, (understated). We don't need something to pin-point why we feel this way, we just do.

Depression is a disease however, in time life will get better. Staying positive is the hard part as outside influences can, and often do complicate our situation - hang in there.

We understand, you're not alone.

Stuart author "Beyond my Control"
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