You have come to the right place. I would like to start with, never, ever, ever, give up your faith in Jesus Christ. He is there. I have just come to realize that again with what I have had to endure. I was where you are now, the problems that I took on were of someone elses not my own. But me, like you, just can't stand to see the ones you love in pain, so we try to step in and take that pain for them.. Koda, that's the Lords job. You don't have to carry that burden anymore. I will personally say; it's ok, it's not your job any longer. You pray to Jesus, you let him know you are just starting out with your life and although you love your family and you want to carry their pain, you just can't. He will carry that for you....Have the faith....
When you love like you do, you can't help but to feel and share the pain, as you have. But it seems like the things that you are involved in are not your things, they are of others that you love and care deeply about, and you, with the compassion you are expressing to us, you just can't help yourself to make all well around you.
Sweetie, always remember. You and only you are responsible for your happiness and wellbeing. You can love the ones you love, (family and friends), but you need to put you first and we are all here for you.
I pray for your health and I will pray for your return to the Lord and most of all, I pray for your happiness.. You hang in there honey, everything will be ok....
Hugs and kisses,