Not sure what category I am :(

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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 29
   Posted 7/3/2008 7:42 AM (GMT -6)   

Not sure where to start really. I seem to get depreseed a lot but also seem to hide it from others. I am 26 and got married in 2004. I was in a severe depression from 2004 until 2006 where I faked an illness and pretended I had epilepsy. I actually got to the point where I believed it myself. I wasted so many peoples time, family, doctors. As I went to hospital for MRI & CT scans, took various epileptic medications. I think at some points I did halucinate and that was scary, whether I did or not or whether I made it up, I seriously cannot remember. I was so mixed up Im not sure where I was.

Towards the end of 2006 I got a job working in IT and soon after starting work I developed Irritable Bowel Syndrome - conincidence? I don't know - that I know Im not faking as when it flares up, it really is severely painful. I have got myself through a few contract jobs over the past year or so but it is extremely difficult working with IBS as I seem to take a lot of sickies to cope and also feel no one I know really understand what I am going through.

I think most of the time, the best way of coping is by living in my own little world and not worrying about stuff on the outside. Me being ill had taken a big toll on my marriage and my wife doesnt understand what Im going through most of the time.

I am wondering what will happen next?

I like to talk to myself when I am on my own to keep myself company, I think that may be normal. I find that I cannot go to bed at the same time as my wife but stay on the internet and chat to people on there as I find that easier than talking to people face to face. I like sleeping but I find the entire concept of going to bed extremely difficult. :(

I have only started a new job last week and managed to do my first week fine apart from the Indigestion starting (IBS). But I have been off all this week so far. I did attempt to go into work yesterday for 1.5hrs but had to go home as felt so rubbish.

Since last thursday I have had pretty severe heartburn pains in my chest and as the weekend dragged on I started to get excessive wind and bloating.

I normally suffer with 'IBS D' and that is really embarrassingly painful dihorea when that happens but it all seems to have turned around and now I seem to have severe constipation which in turn means i am constantly blocked up with too much wind, heartburn getting worse, pains in sides, lower abdomen - this randomly flaring up during different parts of the day. I have had to really strain a couple of times to poo but only small minute poos come out.

Do I have Depression or do I suffer from another disorder? I am not sure, am a little confused.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42528
   Posted 7/3/2008 9:21 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Christian,

You definately have come to the right place. And the first step on beating depression is coming to grips with it and admitting that you have it.

You have really opened up here with something that I am sure is hard to talk about and admit. Do you know why you pretended to have epilepsy? Was it for attention? I hope you don't mind me asking. I am curious as to why you felt that you had to do that. Remember here you are not judged. And we give our honest opinions.

Talking to yourself could be for a number of reasons. To have an intelligent conversation.LOL... That is something that I do and have done for a long time. Actually my counselor said that we often do that when we have a lot on our minds and need to sort some of it out. Which leads to the fact that we have obsessive thinking. Which I take medications for.

I find that it is much easier to talk on the forum than to talk to other people. I think that is normal for us. Especially people with social anxiety. That is why this forum is so important.

Are you going to counseling? I think that it would be a good thing for you and that a counselor would help you learn to not stress over things and to relax, which should help the ibs some. Also drinking a lot of water is good. Magnesium helps when constipated. I wish you luck with this, though it may be something that you have to learn to live with. You will learn what to do and when.

Keep posting, I hope that I have helped you some. There will be others coming on to respond to your thread. We also have other forums that can help with your physical problems so feel free to check that out.

Good luck
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/3/2008 9:58 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to HealingWell and the Depression forum.  I am glad you found us.
Your history is long and has many twists so your question is difficult.  First of all I would like to suggest that you make an appointment to see your physician to obtain a medical screening exam as you have physical issues going on with your IBS and also please tell your Doc everything you have told us.
We are not professionals so to diagnosis you is out of our realm.  Could you have depression, yes but you could also have other issues.
You may need medications or some tests and it is important to get your physician involved.  We are here to support you and share our own experiences with you but each person is different.
Have you talked with your spouse,  I know it is difficult when people don't understand but I am sure she supports you and would want you to be feeling better?
Again a warm welcome and keep posting.

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~

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