Since I was 17, I've been depressed. I don't get along with my family at all, and always get in tiffs with my friends that really start to rupture good friendships. I know its mostly my fault.
I'm a very quiet and reserved person, so alot of things to me are private.
I want nothing more than to go back to school. Im in my second year of college, and Im having trouble paying off last year. I need to pick classes for this year but I cant until I take care of the money.
My parents agreeably decided to help me out, and were supposed to go with me today to pay everything off. Now my mother is ignoring, acting like I never said anything. So here I am without a schedule and without any hope.
How I feel right now is how I felt at my lowest point in life. It brings back sad memories of the times I drove a blade down my arm, or beat myself up trying to kill whatever was on the inside that was maknig me so crazy.
I feel like a constant disappointment to myself and to other people, and I dont see any future for myself. I have no idea what I'm doing anymore I just constantly cry. I feel like I'm spinning around without a chance to stop and breathe.
My family wont support me, my friends are starting to ignore me because they cant stand my quiet personality, and now I cant even go back to school. I have no idea what Im gonna do. Im really tired of life. I know death isnt the answer,but I'm just looking for a solution to make everything right. I just need a little help...from someone...anyone who cares...