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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 7/16/2008 4:43 AM (GMT -6)   
I know its only been 2 and a half weeks since I lost my Dad, but I'm just struggling so hard at times.  Sometimes it's easy to take my mind of things and forget that he's gone. But other times it's all I can think about & I can't concentrate (at work for example) and I just feel agitated all the time.  I feel so needy & like I need constant attention and I'm just so restless! Yet I feel that I can't ask my friends for the support I need, even though they are constantly in touch with me, I just tell them that I am ok. My boyfriend has really been there for me, but he is grieving too as he was close with my Dad, and what he needs is very different to what I need! I feel that I will never feel back to normal, and I know things will never be the same again. Don't know how I will get through this!
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 7/16/2008 11:26 AM (GMT -6)   

Hey Hun,

2 and a half weeks really isnt very long at all... perhaps you are being hard on yourself? Do you find it easier when your mind is occupied? If so, you might want to take the opportunity to start a new hobby (Perhaps creating something which takes up your time). Im sure your dad would be proud to see you getting along even though I know each day is a struggle for you.

Remember we are all here for you


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Veteran Member

Date Joined Apr 2004
Total Posts : 2284
   Posted 7/16/2008 3:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Sorry for your loss. I am in the process of having a close aunt pass away. Hospice believes it will happen today or tonight. The waiting has really taken a toll on me and the agitation is apparent many times throughout the day. Have you spoken with your doctor to see if he will give you anything to help you through this? I know that mine did, and when I first started I took it regularly as prescribed. Now I am only taking one tablet a day. Good luck and I hope you find your way through your loss.
We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.


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Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2008
Total Posts : 363
   Posted 7/17/2008 4:55 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi, Thanks for your messages.

Yes I do find it easier when my mind is occupied - I've been doing loads to keep it occupied, spending time with friends and family and it helps a lot! Maybe I will look at doing some new hobbies though, I will have a think.

I haven't spoken to my doctor as i think this is something that I need to feel, I will see how it goes though and if I feel that I need something I will ask!

Feeling a bit better today, so far at least! Busy at work so thats taking my mind of things!
"The Optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose."

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 752
   Posted 7/19/2008 7:40 AM (GMT -6)   

I think you are doing really well Li :-) Keep up the good work. Don't be afraid to see your doc and ask for help if you need to - just take one day at a time and see how you get on. Journaling your thoughts everyday might help - keeps us in touch with our innner self :-)

Sista J.

Love All
Trust a Few
But Always paddle your own Canoe...

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 7/19/2008 7:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Li,
Please accept my sincere sympathy and I know how you feel as I lost my Dad when I was 39  and I was his only child. I loved him and how I still miss him.  I know how hard it is going through the grieving process but you do it your way and in your time frame. 
Do count on your friends and do stay busy.  A new hobby is a good idea.  I remember realizing I had lost the one person who loved me unconditionally.  My birth Mom died in a car crash when I was 2 years old and I had a step mom that liked me but not like my Dad.  So remember how proud he would be of you with each step you take in life and  hold him close in your heart.  He is just away.

Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety, Panic & Depression 
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