Ok, so I have been thinking alot. I have so much that I could write about
, but its always the same stuff and I figure nothing can be done so..I figured I would vent/ask for some thoughts about
I am a quiet person. I wasnt when I was little, but over time I have gotten quiet. I have always been pretty shy. But, I notice, for example, today I volunteered. There were 7 of us. They basically broke into 2's and I was the odd one out..They sat around me talking to whomever, and I just sat there. I suppose I could have joined in, but I felt no need to. Yet, I felt very loney at the same time. I just sat there wondering why I wasnt involved. I just never say anything unless I have to. Its like I dont talk without a reason, which is good at times, but its leaves me feeling left out. Its like I make myself distant. They talk, I may listen then listen to the others, or I may think about something else. It just seems like they are deeply involved in there conversation why I sit there all quiet dreaming or whatever.
But, for a while now I have been distant from people, not talking unless I had too. I tried talking and did several times, but it didnt last, each time I ended up sitting quietly again wondering why I felt the way I did. I just cant figure out why I dont have a need to say anything, yet I feel left out because I dont. I feel like I want to participate and be out there more, but my lack of "jumping in" is holding me back... Maybe its because I am always thinking about so much...I dont know. I just always find myself sitting there being quiet not saying anything. It just really bothers me, but Im never sure what to say so...
I think I still have alot on my mind. I always do... I've tried to quit thinking about so much, but I just havent been able to. I just hate not being involved more.
Well, anyways, thanks for letting me vent. Some of you have probably had this before, and I have tried to do more, I just cant seem to be able to so... I have attempted mulitple things, so Im starting to wonder if its something more...