Oh do I ever see myself in your post. When I learned the pleasure that I recieve for helping somebody else, I use to feel guilty as if I was using that to feel good. Does that make any sense?
I was the captain of feeling guilty.
Earlier you said that when you were alone, you were only responsible for your feelings. We it should be that way even when you are with others. My mother had mental health issues and she was the one who put me on the guilt wagon, and it took years to get passed that. So take it from somebody who has been there, you are responsible for your own feelings. She can't make you feel guilty unless you let her. So just don't let her.
You are taking on a lot of emotional baggage trying to control everything around you. I assume to make things run smoothly in your family. Well that isn't your responsibility. I did that and I am only assuming that you are going through the same thing. You want everybody else around you to be happy and most likely calm too. Well, my friend, you just have to have faith that everything will turn out fine all by itself. And if it doesn't then you deal with that as it comes.
I hope that I am on the right track here, I might be reading too much into this, just let me know.
I hope all works out for you, keep posting.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies