Depressed. In the Famiy. From the Family

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Regular Member

Date Joined Dec 2007
Total Posts : 191
   Posted 7/23/2008 12:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello all,
I really can't stand this depression fighting anymore. I feel so hopeless all the time. What's even worse is that the people who are supposed to be closest to you let you down the most.
My mom is no doubt depressed, but refuses to admit to it. She mopes around all the time looking all miserable. I just wanna shake her and say "go talk to someone!" but that would be mean. But I wish she would help herself. In return for her own misery, I suffer it as well. She doesn't allow me to do anything rarely, and when she does, she gets all mad and frusterated like I'm an annoyance. She won't let me go out with anyone and constantly has her eye on me. It's really frusterating when you're trying to figure yourself out and experiment and figure out who you want to become when mommy keeps holding you back.
My dad doesn't even pay attention to me. He's so caught up in his work he couldn't care less about my family. He doesn't pay attention to me and has no interest in anything I do or in anything that I accomplish. It would be nice to have a father sometimes.
There's supposedly a history of depression in my family, and it doesn't suprise me. It irratates me that no one wants to seek help and help themselves. I do. I go to counseling, but in the end-it's not gonna stop my parents and how they are towards me.
I'm so hopeless and lost and confused, I just wish I had a mom and dad who cared about me and understands that while I'm transitioning through these early stages of life I'm going to need a little bit of support.
Any parents out there of late teens....what's your advice?
-Daily Migraine Headaches-
-Chronic Pain-
Daily Amitriptyline
"Tell them to look up. Tell them to remember the stars."

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42531
   Posted 7/23/2008 4:22 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't have teenage children but I can tell you that you arenot hopeless. You have a lot of hope. Your mom and dad are just doing their thing. I assume that your dad works all of the time. That is kind of a must in these times. Everything is getting so expensive right now, the money doesn't go far. He may be preoccupied with that. Your mom obviously needs some help and you want to help her but that is hard if somebody doesnt want the help or if they are in denial. There is a lot of denial going on with depression. I would say, that you are doing a good job of helping yourself. And don't stop. YOu need to keep a grip on things. And that is the best that you can do is to help yourself. What does your counselor say about the situation? Does she understand what you are going through?

I am sorry if your family seems so distant at this time. Is there anyway that you could talk this out and explain your concerns. Kind of call a family meeting between the three of you?

I know that this probably doesnt' help much, but that is what I would recommend. But talking to your counselor about this is the most important. In the meantime we are here for you.

Keep posting
hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 7/24/2008 6:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Honey I could not relate to you more.
My parents suffered from depression my whole life and often took it out on me/showed no attention or care for my feelings.
I've tried telling my father that there is something wrong but he would listen either. He gets SO ANGRY too and doesn't think its wrong!
I have gone through the healing process my self and am depressed but getting better.

Explaining didn't work. I simply told them one day from the bottom of my heart that I couldn't deal with the fighting and the stress. I didn't talk to them often... maybe once every six months... I wouldn't answer their calls and if they called and agitated my mental health I simply hung up. This was the hardest thing I had to do because I was so starved for their attention. They are slowly coming around.

My father won't get help still....but at least realizes my condition and does not agitate it anymore. I finally realized that I cannot make them want to help themselves, They know I am always here if they decide to get help, but until then I will keep my distance for my own sake. Maybe you should too?
The best thing you can do is get them to go and talk with a doctor.... (My dad used to say: "what are you a psychiatrist now or something?")

My parents hurt me more than anyone ever has, and honestly if you are living in their house there is not a lot you can do, except calling a school counsellor to come by and talk to your parents. They don't realize how much their attitudes affect you.

All I can say is Put your foot down! If that doesn't work, they are on their own when they are in these "moods" walk away--move out, and don't speak to them if its too hard for you.

p.s. You would be suprised how much depression carries over from your parents. I didn't realize I was depressed too until I was 21.... I even argued that I wasn't depressed but I tried the medicine anyway, and it turned my life around. Go talk to someone! It helps!
The sun can't shine every day :)

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