I am 38 yrs old, married, 2 kids, and male.
In April of this year, my dad was diagnosed with CJD, a very rare and 100% brain virus. By the time dad had been diagnosed, he didn't even know he was sick. No one really had a chance to say goodbye to him, due to his mental state. The disease lasted 4 months. We buried him 3 weeks ago.
about the time dad was diagnosed, I started having strange physical sensations: Lump in throat feeling, Numbness/tingling in my face, arms, legs and feet. Hot flashes. I've had a headache for 10 wks now. In the past week to 2 weeks, most of those symptoms have gone away, but now I am extremely tired - I can go to sleep at night, sleep for 6-8 hrs, and wake up feeling like I just need to go back to bed. Coincidently, at the same time I started feeling so exhausted, I got a dental abscess, and have been on antibiotics (Clindamycin) until yesterday at noon time. I am having trouble concentrating on people when I speak to them, and am sensitive to light. It's like I cannot focus my eyes on anything, I just "look through" things, but I can still carry on a conversation. I've noticed that I'm a little slow making decisions, will start a project (even a "project" like getting dressed) and take forever to finish it. I've had some suicidal thoughts recently. I have very vivid and bizarre dreams, many times violent. My dreams seem to include lots of dead people - my dad, my grandparents, dead pets... I don't seem to have any issues doing work, like cutting grass, etc. Physically, aside from now being tired, I seem to be able to do what I need to do to get through the day.
I was diagnosed back in June w/ anxiety, and prescribed Celexa. I took the Celexa (20mg) for a week, and stopped, because it made everything so much worse. Back then, the docs did blood work and said that I'm OK - kidney's working OK, liver is OK, no signs of cancer in my blood, blood sugar is OK, etc.
I am still very scared that I have a physical disease that is going to kill me. This being exhausted all the time is very disturbing. I am afraid of losing my mind, losing my job, losing my family.
Am I depressed? Is this grief? Has anyone experienced this? What can I do to get better?