You have been a wonderful father, I don't know where you think you don't deserve to be happy. As for the mother of your son, from what you have said, she doesn't even deserve to see him. It doesn't sound like she even cares. She obviously isn't well.
I am sorry about your latest breakup. But I think that it is better that you find out now instead of after a really long time. It would have been that much harder. It sounds like she isn't worth the mental anguish that she has caused you. Neither one of them are.
Keep trying to make a good home for your son. Start working on yourself. September isn't that far off. We are here for you until (and after) you get into counseling. I know that it will help you to cope with all that you have been through.
Have you had your son to the doctor? He might benifit from something for his adhd. Or would you rather not go the drug route? I don't blame you if you feel that way. Sometimes they are too quick to prescribe things. When it can be worked out without meds.
I hope that you can come to realize that you really are a good person and worthy of being happy. Just don't give up, you have come too far.
I hope that this helps some.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies