I feel a bit bad posting this, as I know there are many others worse off than me on this forum right now. Im just sick and tired of this and need to vent a bit. For those that dont know my story, I had chronic depression for 12 years and was on medication for ten of those. I had a really really rough time coming off them, but I did it and then had two wonderful years depression and med free.
about a month ago I crashed again; it lasted for two weeks and it was bad. Im sure you all know the feeling of lying on your bed for days just counting down the minutes until its time to sleep again, but you cant sleep and dont eat and your mind gets worse and worse. I had to confide in a friend at the time and now so regret it. I hate that he saw that side of me and he knows the weakness that I have. I know I shouldnt feel like that as thats what friends are for but being the strong one is very important to me. So thats why I am posting here, just to let it out to people who really do understand but people I dont have to justify anything to. You guys are like a whole other family.
Has anyone else had a relapse after you thought it had all gone away? It is so incredibly frustrating...I thought I was done with the constant fighting and it always, always being in my mind. I absolutely refuse to go back on medication again but I started seeing a therapist, so hopefully that will helpl It might just take that horrible thing called time ha ha. It just really scares me that I might have to fight this for the rest of my life.
Anyway thanks for letting me vent. I hope everyone is doing well.