Posted 8/13/2008 6:18 AM (GMT -7)
Just need to vent here.
Sunday.......perfect day DH woke up happy and fun to be around, went to his ball game, I attended we went to dinner laughed talked etc....very nice day.
Monday.......DH comes home with another headache, goes straight to the bedroom to lay down, I asked whats up and listen then I tell him he needs to get help that his headaches are likely caused by the depression etc......get yelled at that I am putting to much pressure on him and that I am always starting a fight. How is being concerned and trying to help sarting a fight. He said this needs to stop and I said yes this does.....it has got to stop and you need to get help. I left him alone and didn't say another word all night to him....in fact stayed out of his way entirely. I certainly do not want to start a fight.
Tuesday........DH comes home he had golfed after work so it was later in the evening......acting like everything is just fine....GAHHHHHH .......I don't want to say anything because again I do not want to start a fight. I go about my business go to the kitchen and grab a glass of milk and sit down....he comes out and just sits and looks at me. I ask him if there is a problem.....he just asks what I am doing out in the kitchen alone. I pretty much said that I am trying to avoid starting a fight and everything I say these days is perceived as starting a fight.....he denies this....SIGH. I then tell him that I have made an appointment with his PCP to talk to her about his condition for thursday and that I am going to see my therapist on thursday as well. He asks why.....I told him because this has got to stop and his PCP needs to know how bad things really are and since he has not made one for both of us to go in I need to talk to her before I leave on vacation so that I know I have done everything I can to try and make this work and help him. He says that he was waiting for me to make an appointment!!! I told him that I have told him that I will not pressure him or make him do anything.......I can go whenever he makes an appointment for but that I will not make it and have that turn on me somewhere down the road , which it would.......not long before i would hear "you made me do it I didn't want to".
So tomorrow I see his PCP and my therapist and sunday I leave for the lake with my sons.....can't wait. DH is suppsoed to come up on thursday of next week.....but that right now is iffy as far as I am concerned. I am going to tell him not to call me from sunday until thursday morning as I need some time to myself to relax.
I am not going to make any decisions yet, not until after tomorrow and after I read the books I ordered, which hopefully will be here for me to take and read next week.
But let me tell you.....I am ready to tell him to leave....I can't take this up and down anymore......
I am just assuming tonight will be another down........and I will get blamed because I did not coddle him last night. SIGH.
Thanks for listening.......Jenn