If you are feeling that you might do something that got you in the psych ward before, I think that it is time that you seek some professional help.
Right now it doesn't sound like you are very happy with things the way that they are. Not your gf, not really with anything. That is why you are wanting to do things as you put it.
You might have some decisions to make regarding your relationship. If you think you might want to break up with her, don't string her along, be honest. But wait until you see a doctor before you make any big decisions.
Keep us posted,
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies