fatal illness in the family

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/20/2008 6:29 PM (GMT -6)   
i've recently found out my boyfriend of a years mum has cancer, she has refused treatment and operation in this situation, because of this she's only been given a year to live, im only 15 and so is my boyfriend, his dad left them and his mum works as a music teacher and they are struggling for money, consequently he will be left with nothing, i dont know how to deal with this, any advice? thanks, G x

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 8/20/2008 6:37 PM (GMT -6)   
What a great girlfriend you are! Asking for help is the best thing you can do.

Does your boyfriend have ANY other relatives alive? If his mother is deemed unable to make these decisions based on her health it is important to alert someone. A counsellor, hospital staff, ANYONE.
Someone needs to look out for his future and thankfully it is you.

You will be suprised at the amount of embrace your boyfriend will recieve throughout this. Reach out for help for him if he is unable.
If there is nothing you can do... Anyone can fundraise. put together a car wash, anything. Start preparing for this moment. Get the community involved. Put a classified ad in the paper requesting donations.

Firstly, reach out to his other family no matter their current relationship. His father is BY LAW responsible, he must pay his child support and if he does not it will not be hard to win a court case.

There are many options. Choose what is right :)
It is people like you that help us through these situations.
Be strong for him.
The sun can't shine every day :)

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 8/20/2008 6:44 PM (GMT -6)   
p.s. Do not be angry at his mother as she is unable to make this decision.

Refusing treatment is a huge decision. Has she said why she refused treatment? If you believe this is the wrong choice and that she would never do this while healthy, it is possible to get another adult to make these decisions for her and her opinions will be considered wrong due to health reasons... that way someone else can make the choice for her the right way.

Encourage your boyfriend to go to counselling as this will be hard to deal with.

If the decision making is out of your hands all you can do is accept this, and be there for him. It will be ok, time will heal.

Remember she may change her mind, she may be in denial as well, it may need time to sink in.

Remember if $$$ is the problem... FUNDRAISE there is no shame in asking for help.
The sun can't shine every day :)

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 8/20/2008 7:49 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Gmq,

Robin is right, you are a wonderful person. Taking on this responsibility is a big thing. It is huge and you are so sweet to be there for your boyfriend. Have faith that things will work out. You would be suprised how things can change for the good even when they seem to be so bad. Talking to a counselor right now is also good advice. I think that would help you to help your bf right now. And I think that counseling would really be good for him through this difficult time.

Keep posting and let us know how things are going.

hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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