You are not lazy. At least I don't think that you are. You are depressed. And I don't think that your therapist is a very good one. Well, when she said that you were maybe severly depressed, that part was right. Let's give her a silver star for coming close to a diagnosis.
When I get really depressed, I do the same thing that you do. I could care less about going to the door and I do let the dogs bark until the people go away. I don't answer my phone either, just let the answering system get it. I don't want to see anybody, talk to anybody or do anything. My self nurturuing is usually the first thing to go. And I have no energy to clean. So I know exactly how you feel. People can say shake it off, but let's see them do it.
I believe in time, you will start doing these things again. Give yourself permission to be depressed for a while. I don't mean don't try. Just give yourself a break and get off of the guilt trip for a while. I honestly think that the worse we feel about ourselves for not doing what we want to or should, the harder it is to get moving.
Start writing a list of small accomplishments that you would like to get done every day. Make it a short list so that you are more apt to finish it. If you don't finish it, don't beat yourself up over that. Just try again the next day. As you start to move around you will feel better and eventually you can add more to your list.
I think as you do more, you will start to feel better about yourself. As you do that the self nurturing will come back. When that starts you will realize that you feel better when you are clean. Then you will eventually get back in that routine that you were in before.
Are you working anywhere? If not, try going for walks. You would be so amazed at how good you can feel. Maybe take one of the dogs with you. That is good for the dog too. So not only do you get the feeling of accomplishment for youself, but for walking the dog too. This will increase your energy. Also try meditation for your self relaxation. Practice thinking about your accomplishments and feeling good about yourself. You can control the meditation, so that makes you feel like you have the situation handled as apposed to not being able to do anything that you would like to be able to do.
I really hope that this helps some, I would be looking for a new therapist if I were you. The one that you had wasn't helping you at all. In fact she could be making you feel worse about yourself. Especially by saying that you are lazy.
I am sure that you are going to find others here going through the same thing, depression does this to us. It makes us feel like we are not worth while and we lose interest in life.
Are you taking any medications? Have you talked to your doctor about how you feel?
I hope that you start feeling better soon. You have come to a good place and I think that the other members surely will understand how you feel.
Best wishes to you,
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies