Thank you yet again Karen and Kitt!
It is funny, right now my college started (just today), and everything feels so light and easy. I find myself smiling all the time, even after watching the movie "Requiem for a Dream". Not because it is good what happened, but just because smiling is the only real thing that I can do that will help. And does it help!
I already mailed and phoned my friends in Rwanda, something I think I've only done for a few times before (contacting a friend I met on, well, vacantion). Everything feels so right nowadays, I think I've become an old and happy man. At the moment, I am just writing random stuff in a document, while sipping on a glass of good whisky (yet another thing I discovered in Rwanda
Here is a little something I wrote down, just the things how they came up in my head (please note I haven't been able to re-read them, so it might be real weird):
When the differences between two worlds become visible, so will the similarities. In an ideal world, the differences would be accepted and celebrated. In our not so perfect world, some are not.
And last impressions will remain.
Africa brightened my life. The people there brightened my life, the nature brightened my life, I brightened my life. How a simple hug can transfer so much more warmth than a handshake. How a simple hug can utter ones complete acceptance towards you. How a simple hug can changes a man’s life. In Africa, they haven’t forget this.
This is how I like to begin with my story, the story of my uniting with Africa. The story of how my heart finally
opened, how I finally embraced myself, how I overcame the Western mentality. You might wonder why I mention Western mentality, or in equal measure it might sound oo so obvious. The truth is, the Western mentality planted a rotten seed in my soul. It began to grow as soon as I was becoming adult, when I started to see myself in “I” and “Myself”.
Have you ever said to yourself “I can’t .......... with myself”? Than you will know what I mean. It took me a long time to realise (with help) that I was thinking in “I” and “Myself”, that I was thinking of two, instead of one. It was a trip to Africa that gave me to finally unite me into one again, as it was during early childhood. It took two people to do that, two country’s. It took two weeks to become one again.
I know now that Africa is my sanctuary, my place of peace. My little island out of the human madness that rampages in the Western world. Where smiles are replaced by anger and numbness, where sharing is replaced by property, and where a hug is replaced by a handshake. Some argue that this mentality brought us the wealth we have now. What wealth, I say, money? The wealth to control the world? Is that enough to compensate for the fact that in Western societies the percentage of depressed individuals has gone sky-high? Is money an appropiate substitution for a smile? Not the fake showing of teeth that you see everyone, no, a smile of complete joy. Not a smile because of a funny remark, no, a smile to celebrate the simple fact that you are alive, that you are here. Have you ever smiled at a tree? Not because the tree looks funny, simply a smile of joy for the being of this tree. The fact that you are here to see it, hear it, touch it, smell it. To stand here, side by side. Have you ever had the feeling of complete acceptance towards this tree? And have you ever felt the tree’s complete acceptance towards your being?
Out of complete silence a sound comes forth, only to fade away once more.
Have you ever used your ears to hear a sound come forth and fall back into silence? Have you ever felt that extreme sense of peace that you get when doing that? What is the last time you conciousely listened to the birds? What is the last time you felt complete accepted by the world?
We as a human race are the pinnacle of evolution. Evolution brings advantages, but unless we are aware of our weaknesses, these advantages will bring harm to not only the world you sense, but also to you. We are now at a point where it has become so obvious that we are destroying, instead of improving. Now is the time for the human race to develop from a parasite to a healer, a protector of nature. Turn the switch, stop using, start cooperating. I think that is the next step in evolution, becoming aware and live in mutual peace with nature. Why that, some might say. Yes, I can’t deny the fact that the human race is able to manipulate in such a way that it benefits our needs the most. And yes, that way there are more humans that will be able to be fed, and thus more lifes on this planet. And isn’t life sacred? It is, but the life of a human being shouldn’t be worth more than the life of a rhino, an elephant, or a whale. Or do you think that the ability to kill every animal and plant alive gives us the permission to do so, or improves our status to that above wildlife?
Many don’t realize that, and who am I to blame them? Africa learned me smile at them instead of trying to manipulize them, control them. There is enough of that already going on. Furthermore, no one can ever be sure if he or she is doing the right thing for the right cause, since right and wrong are subjective. I knew that, Africa taught me how to use it.
Anyway, thanks again for reading all my way-too-long posts. I am just too enthousiastic I guess.
Acceptance is the key
Existential depression and InsecurityTry to keep smiling! :)