I need advice on life!

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/29/2008 9:40 AM (GMT -6)   
I am 25, going to the University of South Florida in Tampa, FL where I am studying Physical Education. I am gay and a veteran of the army and war in Iraq. My family lives in Michigan, I don't have a whole lot of friends, and I have been single of bout 2 years. I am having issues of being wanted, I'm lonely, broke, and just want to give up on myself at times. I want to pick up and move away. I have been unemployed since May. I bought a mercedes before I got fired and now I can't afford it. My credit cards are max'd out and my GI Bill runs out in 4 months. I am overwhelmed with bills and can't pay some of them now. My mom is my best friend, but she can't help in any way. My dad accepts me for who I am, but is a horrible father. He and I haven't gotten along in years. He has a new family now and I don't talk to him anymore. I want to find a special person to settle down with and that's not happening either. I have learned a lot growing up and I'm a pretty sane person. I have a year and half left of college, but I, for some reason, want to pack up and move out of Tampa. Most people say I am good looking, but no one I think is a decent match puts interest in me. I think parents shouldn't have kids, unless they are willing to pay for their education. Or even, when I mess up and need support. I feel like a failure and I need support. I paid for my brother's last semester at his college back in 2004 when I had money saved up from Iraq. Now, I'm in need of assistance and no one can help. My grandma gave us both gold coins years ago and I used mine on my old car. He has two left, which equals around $2000.00. He wants to save it for his future kids. I have helped so many people in the past, but no one seems to help me in need. I just need help dealing with this. I walk around moping, can't find a job, give up on myself, and want out. I know this blog is all over the place, but that's my life in a nutshell. Thanks for listening!


Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 8/29/2008 6:21 PM (GMT 0)   

Geoff, I know you are in a difficult spot right now but let's take this a step at a time.  You say you are in school right now.  And you are a veteran.  You are a hero for being in Irag and I praise you for your duty to your country. That in itself is remarkable.  If you are a veteran isn't the military paying for your schooling?  Is so, I think the first step you should take is to stay in school and get your degree.  Then you will have a better chance at a good job.  Next, if the car is costing you too much money right now maybe you should sell it.  That might get you some money for a while.  Also, don't give up on getting a job.  Keep looking - you may have to take a couple of part time jobs to get by but at least you would have income.  Does your school have any one to help students find work?  I would check into that.  I know it sound harsh to sell the car but it may be costing you more.  Don't worry so much right now about a new relationship. Give yourself time to adjust to school.  You will find someone when the time is right and often when you least expect it. You shouldn't blame your brother for wanting to save his money for his kids.  Once you are taking classes you may have more opportunities to meet new friends.  These are only a few suggestions and I hope I have helped you in some small way.  I know only too well how difficult it is to be lonely.  I am almost always lonely but I try to find activities to occupy myself.  Take care and post how you are doing.  You will have plenty of friends on this forum. One more thought - if you were fired from your job can you get unemployment insurance?  Why not check that out.

Take care, Aurora


getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 8/29/2008 1:44 PM (GMT -6)   
I think that Aurora has brought up some good points Geoff, have you checked into unemployment options? Also would the military help you with school?

The most important thing that she said is focus on your schooling, when you are meant to have a relationship, it will happen. You cannot rush something like that. It takes time. And it takes time to meet the right person.

You have come to a good place. Everybody here is so very kind and understanding. I hope that we can help you through this. Keep trying, don't give up. Everything is going to work out the way that it is suppose to.

Also you sound like such a wonderful person helping others out. Don't blame them if they can't help you at this time, the help will most likely come from somewhere else, but it will come.

Best wishes for a wonderful day.

Hugs, ...Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 8/29/2008 4:51 PM (GMT -6)   


Welcome to HealingWell.  I am so sorry you are in this position and I know how easy it is to get into debt.  I sense you are in a very tight place right now so I am going to address the debt first.

You can get help from an organization like National Foundation for Credit Counseling. NFCC has branches throughout the country; they are a non-profit, community organization that provides free and confidential debt management advice to anyone who needs it. You can even consult with them over the phone.

Like other debt consolidators, NFCC gets paid by creditors, so it's in their best interest to work out a repayment plan rather than advise you to declare bankruptcy. Not that you want to be advised to declare bankruptcy, but in certain cases it may be your best option.

NFCC makes no outlandish promises beyond the prospect of a saner financial life. http://www.nfcc.org/

I know this is very depressing but each of us had made some bad choices in our lives and you won't solve your problem beating yourself up.  Your just a human being.

Try not to dwell on the past but stay in the moment.  Deal with how you will turn things around and you will succeed. turn Coming here talking to us was a positive move.

Welcome to our world.



Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
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