I'm new just want someone to vent to...

Hi, I'm feeling low...Loved Rosie's note "we can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf" -- guess I'm needing to surf today...My husband is in the hospital,and our daughter has not been paying the student loans on which we are co-signed -- had a call from Sallie Mae yesterday, she was supposed to respond within 24 hrs -- she did not -- no surprise -- and they called today and I had to make the Sept payment -- so I called my daughter and we had a shouting match -- of course, it's all my fault she's late paying and she says she sent the Aug payment -- when I said "If she actually had sent the Aug payment, I made he Sept payment, sooo, if she'll go ahead and make the payment she planned to next week (which would have been the Sept payment late, as usual) she will be on time, actually ahead of schedule for the Oct payment, and she will be all caught up -- she took exception (yelled over the phone) to my saying "if" -- never mind that we made the payment she was supposed to make for September -- how about "thanks, Mom?" -- Ha! 

Hi Kloe, I too am sorry you are going thru such a hard time.  I hope your husband will be better soon.  I understand you paying your daughter's student loan since you co-signed on it.  Unfortunately it makes you responsible if she defaults.  I would sit her down and give her a good talking to.  She is old enough to handle her own resposibilities without putting you and your husband in jeapardy.  I would tell her in no uncertain terms that this is the last thing you will pay for her and that you will never co-sign anything with her again.  She has to learn to make her own way.  Kids just need to know that they have certain obligations and when she is out of school she will be on her own and have to pay her bills.  I hope everything works out OK and keep posting to let us know how you are doing or if you just want to vent.  We are all good listeners. Take good care of yourself and hubby.

Hi, Aurora, thanks for your response. I'll speak to her after we have both cooled down. My husband may be coming home tomorrow -- I just didn't want to burden him with this right now. I feel much better after using this site for a "venting" session! Thanks again.

Hugs, Kloe

Hello, Karen,

Thanks for responding. I feel better now -- I have friends and other family members I could call, but didn't want to burden any of them, either. Sometimes it's easier to sepak to someone you don't really know. I'm glad this site it available!

Hugs, Kloe

KLoe,

Welcome to HealingWell and I am so glad you found us.  I know exactly what you mean about the ungrateful and to busy to be bothered by parents attitude.

My husband had surgery last Wed but the adult children were all to busy so I sat alone all day, home that night and back the next day and brought my husband home.  My daughter was booked into state fair project on Wed, Thursday and Friday................finally had time for her Dad on Saturday.

My son was on the road for work and then he had plans for the whole week end with his family.  I finally called him last night and told him his Dad would appreciate seeing him.  He came over today and brought lunch.

It is a whole different generation.  I guess they live life their way and our expectations of them are set to high.

Your daughter should be held responsible for her loan and to be irate with you because she did not pay is just not right.  I am so sorry you had to go through this.

I am also sorry to read you husband is in the hospital and you have my prayers coming your way.  Bless you and take care of you.

Gentle Hugs

Kitt

Hi again Kloe, I am so glad you were able to get your feelings out.  This is a good place to vent and you are right about it being easier to do it with neutral people.  Those of us not close to the situation can sometimes come up with a good solution for you.  I understand that you did not want to bother your husband.  I hope he comes home from the hospital and has time to rest and get better.  And you are right about you and your daughter having a cooling off period.  When you are both calm it will be easier to talk things out.  Keep posting, it is good to have you here on the forum.

Hugs, Aurora