we moved in june of this year and ever since I have been depressed

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New Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 9/4/2008 12:54 PM (GMT -6)   
I am upset with my life, my marriage, and my school and I am a grad student that needs some friends. I have taken my student teaching already and my last student teaching was not very fun, my whole time I was there I was under microscope and now it is 9 months later and I have to retake it. I am in fairly good health, but my husband is very critical of me and he doesn't even have the same amount of schooling I do. He always criticizes me especially when he has to work and I am helping him with everything then he says that he doesnt like my coffee well why doesnt he make his own. I do everything for him and then he complains to me that i don't have a job, ha! I am a full time student, I can get a job but he wont let me because I cant use the car. I stay up all night thinking about how such an ****** he is, he even criticizes me on how I have sex with him. I have stopped working out regularly because I have applied to different jobs and no one has hired me. I desperately need a job after 3pm so I can make my own money and have some freedom to buy what I want.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 9/4/2008 2:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I went through that with my first husband. I finally got a job and it was the best thing that I could have done for myself. Even if it isn't a lot of hours, at least it gets you out of the house and gives you some of your own money.

Does he let you use the car at all? It sounds like he is really controlling. Don't stop your exercising. That is so good for your self esteme. Keep trying, we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/4/2008 4:00 PM (GMT -6)   


Welcome to HealingWell.  Karen is right on, you need at least a part time job.

Now re your hubby, you need to sit down and tell him how you feel about his behavior toward you.  Your so obviously unhappy and that makes me feel so bad for you. Sometimes a husband needs a wake up call.  If your helping him with his work and he doesn't like the coffee then let him make the coffee from now on.

And to complain about the bedroom issues. He would be on the curb if he was my hubby and lucky to be alive.  turn

Stand up for you and make sure you remain assertive and not agressive.  Don't go on the defense as you have not done anything wrong.

Keep talking to us and know we care.




Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2008
Total Posts : 4
   Posted 9/5/2008 8:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Grad student?? I think some people dont know what they have until it's gone.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Oct 2004
Total Posts : 4083
   Posted 9/5/2008 8:52 AM (GMT -6)   
I am agreeing with the others, if he dont like the coffee he can make it himself.
And dont stop excerizing it is good for you and helps with depression too. It might be hard to pull it off but getting a job may be jut the thing you need, are there bus routes near you that you can catch to be able to get to work, or maybe something withing walking distance.  It must be hard to not be able to use the car.
And having a good talk with him is also a good idea, so he knows how your feeling, maybe even counsling might be a good idea.  I know where do you fit that into an already busy life, but if you want things to work out it maybe avenue to consider..
God Bless,and have a Great Day!!.......Love.....Sheryl
xcema,hypermobile,Chronic Bronchitus,Fatigue,Positive ANAFibro-05--Had surgery on left & right knees 06, Interstial Cystitis-06 Spondlylosis/Disc Degernation Disease severe arthitis lower back -08,implantedInterstim-06 hysterectomy & IBS-06 Arthiritus-04 Depression-04GERDS/ Hiatial hernia -07   Anxiety-07 Gastroparesis-08--Occasional Migraines
 Reglan,Protonix,Prozac,Wellbutrin,Erthomyicin,klonipin,occasional phernergan, loratab, zanaflex  marrried 2 children, 1 with mild autism, Bipolar(9),  Abilify, Buspar, Celexa Son(13) is bipolarw/migraines, Topamax, ZantacGod plz grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference..." Plz help HW to help others by donating: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

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