new here, could i be depressed?

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 9/22/2008 8:43 AM (GMT -6)   
i am 49 years old, have 4 kids from 11 to 25, married this time for 13 yrs, first husband committed suicide leaving myself and 2 young kids, 7 and 8. we were ging thru divorce but leagally still married. HE was severely depressed and alcoholic. Its been 17 years since his death and i remarried 2 yrs later and had 2 more children. I love my husband madly but cant seem to get my old life/energy back. Have lost interest in most things i used to enjoy(working out, cooking, doing things with the kids). I am healthy tho, not overweight, have had several cosmetic surgeries to "enhance" body ravaged by 4 kids. I just dont feel "right". To all on the outside world, i appear normal, still go out with friends which i still enjoy, ALMOST had fling with much younger man but thought better of it(i was in a good mood then, and thin!) but that ended, what there was of it, tho i still have to see him often, but not on a personal level. So now i feel just blah. Nothing what alot of you all are going thru, just in a rut. any ideas?

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42503
   Posted 9/22/2008 10:51 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Forumjunkie,

I would think that if you were happy in your marraige that you wouldn't be thinking of having a 'fling'. But it is also true that you could just be wondering what it would be like. Do you love your husband? Are you happy in this marraige?

Just be careful, a lot of times we don't realize how happy we actually are until we blow it. Then you would probably actually be lonely. So just be careful. The grass always looks greener than it is. Good luck to you, take things one day at a time.

Best wishes to you. Work on yourself, make sure that you are actually sure of what you want to do.

Hugs, Karen...
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Jul 2008
Total Posts : 26
   Posted 9/23/2008 1:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey there.
If you aren't sure the best thing you can do is see a doctor. You do have a lot of the symptoms, and a lot of pain to deal with. Remember-- depression can be mild or severe. I'm sure if you take some medicine you will feel normal again. It restored my energy and optimism. Exercising restored a LOT of energy for me as well.

Good luck!
The sun can't shine every day :)

Elite Member

Date Joined Apr 2007
Total Posts : 32602
   Posted 9/23/2008 5:22 PM (GMT -6)   

Hi Forumjunkie,

I am sorry you are going through this time.................I would agree and strongly suggest you need to see your physician.

You said in your post you love your husband madly and yet something caused you to consider an affair.

There are some things you can do to decide if you are in the wrong relationship and if you need to get out.

Has your partner cheated on you? For some people this is unforgivable. If your partner has cheated on you you need to decide if you will be able to forgive him or not.

Something is bothering you and I wonder if it is that you are aging and there is no way to stop time.  I need a total body, but in the long run people like you for who you are, the person inside not how good you look on the outside.

Please keep talking to us and know we don't judge, we support you.

Be kind to yourself.



Kitt, Moderator: Anxiety/Panic & Depression
& GERD  Forums
*~* *~*
Not a mental health professional of any kind
It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.~Mahatma Gandhi~
Clickable Link: Anxiety-Panic Resources

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 9/23/2008 6:57 PM (GMT -6)   

Thanks, everyone. No my husband has never cheated on me. The almost fling i knew, deep down, wasnt going to happen. He was(is)20 years younger than me, one of my kids teachers, and has worked part time at our country club for 8 yrs as a bar tender. It was just the attention from someone so young and handsome that was a high. I sort of started it but he is a good guy and we both agreed it was wrong because we both think my husband is a good guy. It was close tho only one time, the opportunity was there but i said no, and it was the best thing we could have done, or not done i should say. I am the type who needs some sort of drama event in my life or i get bored, whether its having a baby and being a new mom, cosmetic surgery, or attention from someone young enough to be my son. My husband adores me and i him. He knows i enjoy mens attention and he is fine with it. As much as he likes this guy tho, he would NOT have been fine with that. Now this guy and i are buddies, since we both know we will never gettogether. The sexual tension is gone. And that is the only time i even so much as entertained the thought of cheating on my husband. I think approaching 50 and menopause has alot to do with my moods. I was on medication for depression when my first husband committed suicide and in therapy for awhile till i remarried. Life has been good for me, tho i do have a child who is bipolar(hes 25) and a recovering addict. Its no wonder tho since he lost his dad so tragically. he is doing well now tho.


I am busy with my kids lives, sports and meetings, and volunteering, but not too busy, which is how i like it.

Thanks for the support.


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