Hi Blueskies and Ksufan,
I think that it would be a good idea to go to a counselor for both of you. You will learn to think outside of the box. Sometimes you just have to let the depressed person be depressed for a while. Small tasks can become so difficult for that person. Sometimes they have to just rest for a while and then start from scratch. This is neither easy or fast. It really does take baby steps.
You are both doing a really good job, and I know that it is a difficult task on your part. But you don't have to feel responsible for the other person's recovery. They have to do it themselves. That should be a weight lifted off of your shoulders. You can be supportive though when needed.
You don't have to feel like you are enabling them either by letting them stay in bed for a day here and there, it is all a part of the healing process. I spent two years in bed due to fibromyalgia and depression. There were times when I wouldn't even answer the phone or go to the door. There are no time limits on this and no speedy recoveries. Everything has to go at it's own pace and both you and your partner have to take life one day at a time.
I have to give the two of you a huge amount of credit for dealing with what you have been. It does effect the whole family. I would recommend counseling to both of you. One to understand what is going on with your partners and two, for support for yourselves. And coming here also helps. I am happy that you have found eachother and can help eachother. I know that it is hard to watch your partner be sad all of the time, but they will get through this and so will you. It just takes love and patience. And understanding for all. You both have been traveling a rough road. And I have to say again that I am glad that you found eachother and have found healingwell. We are here for you.
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies