Welcome to the depression forum. You now have a place to vent and a safe place to come to open up. All the members here are so kind and compassionate, I am sure that you will get a lot of responses.
I must recommend that you seek some sort of counseling or some anger management. It is very clear that you need some help with your emotions. The worst thing that you are doing though is hurting yourself. Please slow down and think about what you are doing. I know that things seem hard, but you are really doing a wonderful job. You just can't see it.
Getting a promotion at work is a huge thing, that shows you are good at what you do. That takes a lot of effort and concentration, so you do have something going for you. I know that it hurts when others get jealous, but they will get over it. It is change and some people can't handle change, especially if they aren't a part of it. But have patience, your friends will come around, it just takes a little time.
Please keep posting, we are here to help you as much as we can. There are a lot of us who have been in your situation and we understand that right now it seems hopeless, but it isn't. You can beat this and feel good. Just keep trying. And let us help you get there.
Try to hang on, we will help you until you can see somebody. I know that you are really trying and having lupus isn't helping matters any. But try to relax and calm down, breathe, we are here for you.
I had to edit your post because it was too discriptive and we aren't allowed to talk about suicide. But I am sure everybody understands what you are trying to say. I am sorry for what you have gone through, but please don't take it out on yourself anymore, you don't deserve that.
Please stay with us,
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies
Post Edited (getting by) : 10/2/2008 8:30:04 PM (GMT-6)