Posted 10/5/2008 4:30 PM (GMT -6)
Well I am sure you are all familiar with the above phrase but it just occured to me that that is how I feel today - from small acorns large oak trees grow... they are strong old trees. I've done a lot of small things this weekend that I think are going to help me on my way to making a strong recovery. I think it's important for us all to share - as I said in my introductory post - as my family are in the dark and I have my friends dealing with most of what is going on - this is a perfect place for me to share too as we are all in the same boat. Whatever gets put here just might encourage someone else. As I think I have been lucky enough to strike upon a medication that is working for me readily, I am confident that I can get back on track quickly. So...
I've started keeping a private diary of how things are on a daily basis starting yesterday - I've always been paranoid about this sort of thing in the past as I am always worried about others seeing what I truly think, but I have nothing much more to lose right now and it's amazing how seing things in black and white can help to get things in perspective and help shape a way forward. I've got a list of what i would really love to be feeling again and so every day this week I am planning to take another small step.
Tomorrow I have an appointment to see my work doctor so that I can fill her in on my current position - she was the one who alerted me to my raised blood pressure so I feel that I should inform her of the results. Also, being as she is a medical professional, another person to actually tell is progress for me as I've never been a big one for speaking about how I feel despite being an avid listener to everyone else so that's good for me.
I'm also going to go running tomorrow evening for the first time for months - walking I have done but the trainers have been gathering dust and I really want to get back to that - I didn't complete a marathon earlier this year to let things go by the board!
Nothing planned for Tuesday and Wednesday except to read some more books which I got from the library but on Thursday I have a session with a local self help group where I think I can at least get some perspective for my position and guauge it against others. This is a better option for me at the moment too as I don't think I am quite ready to tackle the CBT side of things but will in due course.
Friday, Saturday and Sunday are going to be filled with mountain walks with some lovely friends who live near a lovely range of peaks where I can let off some steam and get some fresh air in my lungs at the same time.
For those of you who may have read my posts sometime on Friday night / Saturday morning this week, you'll have noticed a big turnaround in mood which I think is consistent with the illness that we are all up against - I need to pursue the whole hormone imbalance thing around period time with the depression as when the two collide at present I am plunged into a really black hole for about the first 48 hours - PMT symptoms have not been so bad but the first few days have been worse than I have ever known - can't work out yet if that is due to the depression or the drugs or what.... I'll pick up with my doctor when I next see her.
Have a good beginning to the week all of you. Stay strong and as focussed as you can - check in with us on here as often as you can face - good or bad and we can all help each other.
Through thick and thin.....