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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/5/2008 8:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Im so confused I dont know whats wrong with me I do silly things like take lots of tablets and do nasty tings to my partner like telling him to leave and telling him I hate him and every time we argue I finnish with him, my boyfriend doesnt trust me and I dont know why I try to tell him how much I love him but I dont think he believes me I would never cheat him i dont want anyone else, infact I know he has been with other people and this really hurts me I dont think he understands that.
Im not attention seeking but thats what it feels like and that makes me feel like a bad person.

To help you understand me better ill tell you a bit about how my lifes been

When I was 7 my parents split up my mum was an alcoholic whom I stayd with and my dad was so immature i never got told off when i was younger i got away with anything and sometimes i used to do things to get in trouble but i never would.

I started not going to school when I was 15 I moved in with my dad growing up my friends were older people and i never had a real boyfriend they just used me!

i am now 20 and 3 months ago I had a gorgeous baby boy whom I love very much to my boyfriend who I have been with for one year now, and I feel like everything that has happend in my past is haunting me I have nightmares about things I used to do when I was on drugs and I feel like I dont deserve a good life, this makes me not trust my boyfriend why would he want me being the kind of person I am, in the last three months i have tried to overdose and I have been cuttin myself and now I drink alot and when I do I got phyco, shouting at my boyfriend saying I dont trust him and he should just go be with a normal girl who he really wants I tell him I no he doesnt want me, alough I only say these things to him when im drunk I think them all the time and this gets me down I dont no how to be normal and stop feeling like this!

I wish I had someone with me 24/7 to tell me the right things to say and do as I feel like I know what is real or right anymore, I am paranoid, scared of everything I hardly sleep, dont eat much now and i just dont like myself the way I act or look or even dress please someone help me!

Reason for edit:

I have just taken a couple of sections out of your post as we cannot allow the discussion of illegal activities on the site. Darren

Post Edited By Moderator (djdaz_1985) : 10/6/2008 3:49:28 AM (GMT-6)

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 10/5/2008 9:26 PM (GMT -6)   
I don't know if this will help at all but if these problems have been in the last few months have you thought about postpartum depression. Lots of woman get this and for some it's a large problem. If I was you I would talk to a doctor and see what can be done. I'll be thinking of you.

New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/5/2008 9:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi thanks for the reply, Ive spoke to my doctor and he just gave me tablets but they dont seem to be helping, i dont think people understand how I feel because I cant put it into the rite words and I get emmbaresd

Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2008
Total Posts : 489
   Posted 10/6/2008 1:12 AM (GMT -6)   
please get the courage to talk to a therapist about your problems.If you wont do it for yourself please do it for your baby he needs his mom.If the first meds. you try dont work tell your DR. there are alot of meds. out there.Dont give up untel you find the one that works for you.All my prayers are with you .       mom9mom. cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry
Lost half of my small intestine, Nerve damage to right leg,part of my right hip bone removed,hernia,infection in my back called discites,and depression

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2006
Total Posts : 2408
   Posted 10/6/2008 4:52 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

It sounds like you have been through a lot as a child and that is possibly why you are as you are now. Seeing a councillor/therapist to help you work though the problems would be a great way to move forward. The tablets the doctor gave you may not be suitable for you. Different meds have different effects on different people. It can be a case of trying all of them until you find one that works for you. Also bear in mind that AD's take 4-6 weeks to reach full effectivity and that doctors always start you on a very low dosage.

Talking is a good way to heal

Everyone has a guardian angel. They help pick you up when you fall, comfort you through your times of need and help you appreciate the times when things are going well.
"A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if your not enough without it, you will never be enough with it." - Irvine Blitzer (John Candy) in Cool Runnings
Moderator - Epilepsy Forum
Co-Moderator - Depression Forum
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New Member

Date Joined Oct 2008
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 10/6/2008 5:52 AM (GMT -6)   
thanks Darren, I no I need to give it time and mabey I should talk to a therapist but I feel like its all too late and im going to loose my partner and family because of the things ive done to them.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42503
   Posted 10/6/2008 11:26 AM (GMT -6)   
It is not too late, you can always change. Please do not dwell on the past or worry about the future, the key is staying in the moment. As was said above, I think that you really need to start counseling and give your medications time to work. It doesn't happen over night, but soon you will start to see some changes. So please don't give up.

Remember that we are all here for you throughout this difficult time that you are experiencing. Just post and somebody will answer.

You have come to a good place where the members are all supportive of eachother. We always come together when needed. Tomorrow is Chat Tuesday. There will be a thread on that. Maybe you would do well with a little interaction with the group. I hope that you come.

Have a great day
HUgs, Karen
  Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia
fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression,allergies

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